Aw, Jesus. The inscription turns into a Joey voice-over, as Dawson drives home and looks all unhappy and shit. "Dear Dawson," Joey says, "when something like this happens, you want to reach out and grab the people around you, the ones who matter the most, the ones you take for granted all the time. You want to take those people and hold onto them as tight as you can. Tell them how precious they are, that knowing them makes your life better every single day that you're living it. Because when something like this happens, you realize how awful it would be if they didn't know. If they're weren't aware of the profound effect they've had. So, I want to take this moment to tell you that I love you, Dawson, and that I'm here for you. Now, forever, and every day in between. Love, Joey." Oh, barf.

Next week: more barfing.