Previously, on Dawson's Creek: Capeside Six Feet Under-ed the Flash; Dawson convinced himself that his father's tragic death was entirely his fault; Jen started having sex with someone she knows absolutely nothing about, other than the fact that he's really cute; Pacey got a job in a restaurant and infuriated the bitchy waitress who wanted the gig; Jack made plans to join a fraternity and Tobey called him "the gay Uncle Tom"; Dawson told Joey he wanted to be alone and Joey cried about it.
Leery House for Widows and Orphans. The Widow Leery is upstairs in the bedroom, folding blankets and sheets, while the Orphan Dawson is yammering on and on and on about all the chores he's done for her: fixing the clogged bathtub, paying all the next month's bills, getting Lily a new pacifier. Gale just keeps folding and finally tells her son, irritably, that he ought to "take a break." She has no more chores for him. Dawson just stares at her. "Okay," he mumbles. "So what about taking Joey up on her offer?" Gale asks. "She's been calling just about every day asking you to go see her." Dawson twitches, and explains that "it's been so hectic" lately, what with all the Man of the House stuff he's been doing. He bites his lips. Gale reiterates that she's perfectly fine, and that he can go away for a weekend without her falling apart. She tells him to go to Boston to see his friends. "Lily and I will be right here when you come back," she chirps, and, hoisting her basket of linens, leaves the room. Dawson stares after her gloomily, and sits in the windowsill and stares at the phone.
Hang on a sec. Paula Cole doesn't want to wait? Why didn't anybody tell me?
Worthington College For Neurotic Motherless Children And Their Sassy Roommates. Joey and Audrey are jogging. Well, Joey is jogging. Audrey is panting and flailing. "So, when you go out for a jog," Audrey exhales, "you're actually…" Joey looks at her. "Jogging, yes," she says. "You're not just ditching me to go have some iced cap frappe-y thing by yourself?" Audrey pants. "Because, you realize," she continues, "I never would have signed on for this little group bonding session if I thought real exercise was involved." Audrey is a girl after my own heart. I personally prefer to lose weight by mainlining speed and eating only Cheetos, rather than actually exercising. Not really. Say no to drugs! Although, actually, the Cheetos part is true. Seriously, for, like, a period of two weeks in August, all I wanted to eat was Cheetos, and I seriously lost, like, five pounds. I turned orange, but, you know, everything's a trade-off. Anyway, Audrey, panting, flops down on a bench. "Must. Sit," she heaves. Joey jogs a few more paces before realizing that she's lost her roommate. She lopes back to Audrey, and promptly loses her mind.
"Okay, well, let's review," she says maniacally, and goes over the entire plan for her weekend with Dunston; movies, pizza, more movies, more pizza, as little talking or looking at each other as possible. My Weekend With Dunston is, I think, the little-known sequel to My Dinner With Andre. "I'll keep everything very low-key," Joey finishes. She's really freaking out. "Low-key doesn't generally involve such a carefully planned itinerary, but whatever," Audrey says. Joey makes a nervous face, and flings her arms around, and twitches and tells Audrey that the itinerary is in case "things get weird" with Dawson. "No thinking on my feet required," she explains. She's talking a mile a minute. Audrey wonders why Joey is so freaked out. "It's Dawson," she points out. "You've known each other since you were…placenta." Joey blinks and nods. "Exactly. It's Dawson. My best friend in the entire world, who needs me right now more than he probably ever has, and that's a lot of pressure, and, you know, what if I mess up and I say all of the wrong things and at the end of the day, I'm not enough?" she asks. Throughout this speech, Audrey is making an hysterical "what the hell" face, which she shakes off in order to make with the advice. "Okay," she pants, "so you have a little bit of performance anxiety. No big thing. Seen it a couple of times myself." Joey shakes her head and says it's "not that." She's not just scared of botching up this one event, she says, she's "afraid [she's] going to botch up [her] entire future with the only…." She cuts herself off. Please don't let the end of that sentence be "the only man I've ever truly loved." She just wants Dawson to have a nice relaxing weekend, she says. Audrey wonders why she doesn't just ask Dawson what he'd like to do, but Joey thinks "making decisions" is too stressful for Dawson to handle. And she's not going to broach any of the conversations they ought to be having; no talking about the kiss, no talking about him moving to Boston, nothing. "No talking at all," Joey says. "Sounds like a party," Audrey comments wryly. "Well, parties are stressful," Joey responds seriously. Audrey shoots her yet another "have you gone round the bend?" look and opens her mouth to say something.