Dawson's Creek
Use Your Disillusion

Episode Report Card
Jessica: C | 2 USERS: A+
Use Your Disillusion

Worthington Dormitory. Joey and Dawson are watching TV. Why would he come all that way just to watch the tube? At the very least, couldn't they have gone to the movies? Seriously, movie-watching is way more distracting than TV watching, mostly because of being in the dark. Also, the popcorn and snacks. They're watching Charlie's Angels, and I guess there's some point in the movie that I don't recall which features a big old dramatic car crash, and Dawson looks uncomfortable only because Joey totally freaks out and ends up, like, unplugging the TV from the wall and wailing in pain and tearing out her own eyeballs as penance for being so insensitive as to inflict that upon him. Joey apologizes. Dawson doesn't really seem to care. He just looks weary. "You must think I'm the most insensitive idiot on the planet," Joey wails. Dude, Joey. Chill. Dawson has enough to deal with right now without also being responsible for constantly reassuring you that you're handling his problems correctly. Dawson makes the same face that Audrey made during the open scene (the "sweet fancy Jesus, woman, have you gone completely 'round the bend?" face). "Joey. It's okay," Dawson says. She blathers about how it's not okay, because this is his time to freak out, not her time to freak out, and she's robbing him of his time to freak out. Dawson's like, oh my God, freakshow, chill out. Joey keeps babbling, this time about how she's supposed to be making him feel better. "You're not supposed to be doing anything," Dawson points out. "Maybe Audrey was right," Joey sighs. "Maybe we should have gone out." Dawson raises his eyebrows. "Then let's go out," he suggests calmly. Joey mentions that her professor is having a party. "Apparently, there's going to be brie," she says. I'm beginning to think that the Dawson's Creek writers have an obsession with dairy products. The Ice Cream Cone Of Death? The Brie of…well, I guess that remains to be seen. "I love brie," Dawson says. "Everybody does," Joey responds, and scoots off to grab her coat. Dawson blinks, like this is shaping up to be the worst weekend ever. This scene has been brought to you by the California Cheese Council. California: It's the Cheese.

The Streets Of Boston: Jen, in a cute shearling-lined jacket, and Pacey, in a cute brown suede-y looking coat, walk down the street and chat. Pacey's yammering about Karen. Apparently, she's "feisty" and "smart" and he can "feel the love connection." He tells Jen that they're in that third-grade flirting stage, i.e. they spend a lot of time pulling each other's pigtails and calling each other "butthole." Jen sighs that she's so glad she's not single anymore. As soon as the words are out of her mouth, a knock comes at my door. I pause the tape and answer it. It's Foreshadowing, looking completely bedraggled. "Hey," he pants. "Sorry it took me so long to get here. Do you know how long it takes to hitchhike from Toronto to Los Angeles? Hey, are those Cheetos?" After Jen finishes digging her own grave, Pacey launches into a long spiel about Chef Danny, and how Danny's like his mentor and how he's just like Pacey, only older. "So, what you're saying is, when you grow up, you basically want to be yourself," Jen asks. "Yeah. I'm very well adjusted," Pacey says. Heh. These two are awfully cute together. They keep walking down the street, all cute clothes and satisfied relationships and starring roles on flailing, creatively bankrupt television shows. Eventually, they walk past a little café. Who is sitting right in the window? Charlie. With a girl. Holding her hand. Because when you're cheating on your girlfriend, you definitely want to do it in broad daylight. "Isn't that your boyfriend?" Pacey asks. "Yeah," Jen grits. "I thought he was working tonight," Pacey says. "That's what he told me," Jen says. It is at this point that she wigs, heading for the door of the café at a dead run. Pacey grabs her by one arm and pulls her back, and asks her what she's doing. Jen yells that she's going in there and "beating his ass!" Pacey physically moves her away from the door once again. I have to say, these two are quite good at this whole physical comedy thing. They've got to get off this show. "Easy, Thelma," Pacey counsels mildly. "Now, you don't know what's going on," he continues. Jen fumes inarticulately as Pacey points out that this could all easily be a mere "communication problem." He advises her to call Charlie tomorrow, and calmly ask for an explanation. "WHAT POSSIBLE EXPLAN --" Jen begins, before Pacey cuts her off. "Volume," he says. "Either way," he continues. "you'll be calmer, more rational, and happy that you waited, because you will have gained the upper hand." Jen smiles at him widely, and cheerfully agrees. Then she runs for the door. Pacey darts after her and slings her, fireman-style, over his shoulder, and carries her away. Why don't I have cute boys carrying me around fireman-style?

Expensive And Anonymous Restaurant Containing Ugly Blue Lamps On Each Table. Jack and Tobey are having An Awkward Conversation; Jack is waxing poetic about the wonders of fraternity life, and Tobey is biting his tongue. This all devolves into bitching about Jack standing Tobey up earlier that day. "You could have called," Tobey says. Jack reminds him that he doesn't have a cell phone, "for reasons [Jack] still doesn't understand." Tobey looks at him incredulously. "Brain tumors!" he says. Jack almost smiles, and tells Tobey that due to this lack of cellular technology, he couldn't call him and tell him he was running late, and he certainly couldn't just leave the Mysterious Pledge Event. Tobey asks what Jack was doing with the Frat Boys of the Corn that was so darned important. Jack explains that he can't tell him; it's a secret! Apparently, pledging a frat is like jury duty; you're not allowed to talk about what you do all day with members of your own family. This explanation doesn't fly with Tobey. "Whatever!" he huffs. Jack tells him not to "get all girlfriend-y" on him. Tobey makes a hugely offended face and sniffs that he'll pretend he didn't hear that. Jack apologizes. "Let's just not say it again," Tobey says. Jack agrees and starts the kissing up, telling Tobey he looks really great, and that he misses him. Just as Tobey is starting to warm back up, Jack's cell phone rings. It is, naturally, his fraternity. Tobey sighs massively, and Jack tries, half-assedly, to get out of whatever dingbat scheme the FBoC have in store for him this time. Tobey tells him to go. Jack's all, "Are you sure?" "Go," Tobey says. "You are amazing. You know that, right?" Jack asks him, hanging up. "That's what all the boys say," Tobey says wearily. ["And the girls. Swoon." -- Sars] Jack tosses some cash on the table and tells Tobey that this latest errand won't take long. They can meet up back at the house and go out when he gets back, since it'll still be early. "Have fun," Tobey calls forlornly after him, and stares sadly at his salad. "You are the only one. You are the lonely one," the soundtrack sings. Man, there are so many problems with these two! First, Tobey should have called before hopping on a plane and expecting Jack to devote his entire weekend to him. It's easy to blame Jack for putting his frat before Tobey, but the truth of the matter is that, for whatever reason, Sig Ep is important to Jack, and he made a prior commitment to them. Not to mention the fact that Tobey wouldn't be nearly as peeved if Jack was running off to a PETA meeting. Also! If Tobey really didn't want Jack to leave, he shouldn't have told him to go! There's nothing more infuriating than someone who tells you one thing, but means the opposite, and expects you to psychically divine that. No wonder these two are having problems. Don't worry, Jack haters; I'll get to his bratty behavior later.

Over at the playhouse, a shell-shocked Jen and an apologetic Pacey crawl over the already seated patrons to find their seats. In an attempt to make non-Charlie conversation, Pacey asks Jen for a "Cliffs Notes version" of the play they're about to see, Othello<

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Dawson's Creek




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