D.C.
Justice

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Keckler: D | Grade It Now!
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What price, justice?

Mason is being shown around his new office by a woman who acts suspiciously like Karen from Will and Grace. "Now, here's fax one, fax two, the copier which is possessed. Uh, it can't be fixed, you gotta use voodoo on it. Also, don't copy your ass, it's not funny and it's a big pet peeve of mine." Mason looks very disappointed. Karen continues, "The autopen is broken but I can sign Owens's name better than he can. Now the coffeepot: Don't be the person who leaves a half inch in the bottom of the pot because you don't want to make a new one. That's why we fired the last guy." Mason looks startled but Karen yukks it up, slapping him on the back: "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. He went to Finance Committee. Now this is Bill's desk, my desk, and here's your desk right here. Yeah, I'm gonna be honest with you, there's kind of a funky smell. But we think there's a sandwich hidden in there somewhere. Well, good luck!" Mason starts to clean up his desk when Owens walks in: "Mason, good to have you here. Walk with me!" Mason walks with him. "I need you to be up to speed on the four agricultural bills, plus juvie crime and highways. And we're up to a five-day turnaround on the letters; I'd like it to be down to three." Mason interrupts: "We got it down to two at Abbott's." Owens is impressed, "Well, that's your new goal. Get the system working. How many counties are there in Michigan?" "Eighty-three," Mason says promptly. "How many in our district?" Owens asks. "Nine, but some of them are split," Mason tells him. "Very good, Mason! We'll send you out there eventually. Oh, in the meantime I want you to learn all the town names. You get Ionia and Owosso confused and I'll have a riot on our hands. Now, softball..." Owens pauses and Mason looks at him expectantly, "Yes?" Owens asks him what position he plays. Mason tells him "umpire." Oh, how like a politician! Owens tells him that now he plays third base: "Our office and Piedmont's have an intramural team. We're undefeated in our last one game. Next up is Abbott's," Owens tells him. "My old office!" Mason exclaims. "You're not going to go easy on those guys because they're your friends?" Owens asks. "Actually, I'd like to kick their ass," Mason says sincerely. Owens tells him that he'll fit in well. Yeah, as long as he doesn't trip over that halo.

Pete is carrying his bike out of the mansion as a man approaches him from the sidewalk. "You must be Jason?" "'Scuse me?" Pete asks. "Not Jason, Pason, uh, Grayson," the man tries a few other names that rhyme. "Mason?" Pete asks. "I suppose you'd know your own name. I'm Dr. Keppler, I live two houses up," Dr. Keppler tells him. "Oh, it's good to meet you!" Pete says shaking his hand. "My wife tells me you and your sister are looking over the place for the Sorrenson's," Dr. Keppler says. "That's right, my sister and I," Pete confirms. "We saw police cars here last morning, everything all right?" Dr. Keppler says in an accent that sounds very much like Liam Neeson. "Oh, no, everything's all right, just a misunderstanding," Pete assures him. Dr. Keppler tells Pete-pretending-to-be-Mason that he's going to give him the "good neighbor spiel." Dr. Keppler tells him that everyone minds their own business on the street, has the trash cans off the sidewalk by 10 AM, "that kind of thing." "Great, we'll do that," Pete says, trying to walk away but Dr. Keppler isn't done yet: "We don't have any other young people on the street so the neighbors see you and your friends and police cars on the street, and they begin to think there's a problem. This house-sitting thing you got going is a pretty good deal; I would hate to see you lose it over some gossiping neighbors." Pete grits his teeth, "Thanks for your advice, we'll keep a low profile." "Yes, that's probably the best thing," the good doctor says, smiling wolfishly and adding, "You have yourself a good evening." There may be trouble ahead...

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