Since the dawn of time, these credits have sucked. It is my awesome responsibility to get drunk enough to finish the recap, but not too drunk that I pass out and blow it off, because then all twelve of you might be mildly disappointed for a few moments.
Ooh, Rock Star! I am so going to see that, even though Judas Priest is unhappy with it. I can't live my life doing everything Judas Priest wants me to do, you know. Except for "Breaking the Law." That I'll do -- for them.
The blip on the screen says, "A few days later," as the van rolls down a foggy road. Jane and Yawn roll into a gas station and happily hop out to gas up. The blip now says, "Outside San Francisco," as they yammer away about how great it was to not see any ghosts during the long drive, and yay, a cover story for Distortion magazine, but oh, let's not jinx anything. La la la!
Scotty and his sister Tracy (who looks a little like Willow's girlfriend Tara), a few beers in each, are saying that putting their grandma in a home was a good thing for her. Oh shit, I thought she was dead! My bad. She "almost blew herself up smoking with the oxygen mask on" -- heh. Not dead. In a home now. Got it. Won't misinterpret any other details, swear. Scotty says Tracy is "free" now; he asks how that feels. Weird, she says. Because having Grandma around anchored her, and her idea of family, and now she feels a little lost. And a little drunk, I would guess. Go, Busy Philipps. With your bad self. Scotty looks at his almost-gone beer and is like, yeah, never looked at it that way. Is there a tear in your beer, Scotty?
Yawn is standing in the fog by the gas pumps, alone, alone. He hears sobbing. He's stupid enough to go look. Dude, can't you see the hundred-foot-high signs out there? They say, "You Are In A Spooky Setting And Will No Doubt Run Into A Ghost In Less Than Five Feet." Sure enough, the sobber is a lady tricked out in '50s clothes. She looks a bit like Cordelia on Angel. But it's not her. This show sure likes to hire ringers, or at least ringer doppelgangers. The '50s lady needs his help. He doesn't want to give it, once he cottons on the fact that she's dead. The ersatz "Johnny B. Goode" starts, and Jane walks up. The '50s Lady says she knows the type of guy Yawn is: one who runs away when things get complicated. No! Yawn says he's "Miss Understood!" And Jane deadpan-yeahs him into helping The '50s Lady. All of these ghosts are so perfectly costumed, you'd think they could do something with Yawn's hair. Oh, and they need to dig up The '50s Lady's body. That's all.