Dead Last

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: B- | 431 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Look Out! This Plane Is Going to Zzzz!

Dennis comes back to the table and hauls Jane off to ask her about the coffin, I can only guess. Yawn is all, "Alone at last," through closed teeth. Erica leans forward and turns off the tape recorder. She says she was sorry she gave his old band a bad review a month after they split up, but that it had nothing to do with them or her feelings, but rather that it was her obligation as a journalist to be honest. Mmm-hmm. Tape recorder back on. And why does The Problem miss so many gigs? Yawn snaps off the recorder and says, "This interview is over." Don't you mean, "This interview is riddled with so many clichés it's like every other bad article I've read before"? His cell phone rings; it's Scotty on the plane. He loves you, man. And it was Scotty who ran over Yawn's '57 Gibson Sunbird. Yawn hangs up on him. Ghost pilot waves Scotty into the galley.

After a little chit-chat with the waitress in the sky, the mischievous music starts up and we get to wire-cutting. The sky waitress summons the pilots, who corral Scotty and hog-tie him. He yells that they're "all gonna die!" and starts to sob a little. Oh, honey, you're not going to die. Come here. Mmm. There, feel better?

Scotty is handcuffed in the galley. The ghost pilot talks about what it's like being in a plane crash. Oh, ew.

Dennis and Jane are standing by the coffin-in-a-van. He's yelling; she's looking like death in red lipstick. Girl, get some blush, or pinch your cheeks or something. You're supposed to be an alive person. Start looking like it. Erica snoops up like a journalist should and Dennis gets to play hide-the-coffin. Yawn pops up and is like, hey, gotta go pick up our drummer at the airport, see ya! Erica says she should "tag along." Oh, lord.

The plane is about to make its descent. People buckle their seatbelts as they are told to do. The pilots thank everyone and tell them to ignore the crazy guy handcuffed in the galley. Hee. Tracy sneaks in and laughs at Scotty. Hee hee. Scotty begs her to help him. She says he sounds crazy. He makes an impassioned speech to the effect that she and he both deserve better than to die right now, when it seems like their lives are finally just beginning. She sighs and shakes her hair, then helps him bust loose with a trick she "learned in juvie. Blood is thicker than handcuffs, bro." They run a scam when he acts like he's going to kill her -- the same trick they used to run out on the check on his sixteenth birthday. Should I mention that he's holding a plastic airplane knife to her throat? No? Okay. He gets into the cockpit, then tosses Tracy out, wanting to take all the blame for this stunt. Now he has to land the plane by himself? He does; the end. Just kidding; they all die. No, now I'm kidding.

Dead Last

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