Dead Last
Death Is In The Air

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Alex Richmond: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Look Out! This Plane Is Going to Zzzz!

This recap is dedicated to Aaliyah and her family and friends.

The blipvert on the screen says, "Detroit." We land in a massive, warehouse-sized greenhouse eerily lit X-Files-style by a bluish glow and two flashlights flashing their light onto the ceiling, where the light will do the most good to the people who need to see down on the ground. Scotty and Yawn -- one in a cap, the other with lank, droopy hair -- are operating the flashlights and talking. I miss what Yawn says (boredom makes my ears stop working), and Scotty says he plans to stick around for the next few days to visit his mom in rehab and hang with his sister Tracy. Yawn expositionally says that he thinks Scotty just wants to bail on the cross-country drive. God, you're boring, Yawn. Scotty says that Tracy is bummed that their grandma just died, and because she just got kicked out of "that pharmacy school." Hey, you have to party pretty hard to get kicked out of pharmacy school. I want to meet this girl. Yawn says all that is a bummer; then there's a clatter behind them. Did you...? Yeah. They heard that. Flashlights waving wildly, they investigate. An animal chatters. It's behind that dumpster. Scotty wields a long, metal, fishing pole-esque type thing. Yawn says he'll just pull this stuff out of the way, and Scotty should whack the thing. One-two-three and what looks like a baboon toothily screams into the camera. The boys scream, too, and then we get a shot of the outside of the building as we hear the screams and crashing noises. The flashlight handlers should get a screen credit for their fine work, because they have gone to town with the waving of them all over the place. Best use of a flashlight in a WB teensploitation show goes to....

Yawn and Scotty emerge -- unscathed, dang it ("dang it" in the case of Yawn, I mean) -- with a box that is vibrating strangely. Jane's sitting in their van, with an exterminator ghost guy. Exterminator Ghost Guy -- complete with brown jumpsuit and the canisters of poison strapped to his back -- asks whether they got it. They got it. It's in the vibrating box, duh, Exterminator Ghost Guy. But where is your van, EGG? "A deal's a deal," says Yawn. "Deal"? Why are they taking his van? EGG says he wants to go. But first they have to kill it. He laughs when he says it: "If the thing's alive, I'm not doing my job." Jane says they've sunk to a new low. Yawn says she keeps saying that. No, that was me. Did you know I pitched this show to MBTV? It was my idea. I'm into shows about rock bands. I had no idea it was going to be this corny. So, on behalf of Texas, I'd like to apologize. Scotty takes a swing at the box with his metal thing as Jane covers her eyes. Thud.

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Dead Last

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