Dead Last
The Mulravian Candidate

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The Tofu Prince Of Mahwah

Back in the embassy, Jane is showing the Eurodudes photos of Hotty all passed out and shit with his pants around his ankles. I can hear the palpitations of the board posters now. The phone rings, and Hotty tells Jane the good news. He's a national hero, baby! And he's going to Mulravia right now! They're throwing a party for him! Jane is like, what?

Katie looks at the lottery tickets her Uncle Jimmy has sent her and laughs. Isn't he a card! Ha ha! Wrapped in a towel, she heads off to the bathroom. Yawn snuggles into her bed, again, and answers his cell phone. It's Jane. She's freaking out because Scotty said he's going to Mulravia. Yawn says she doesn't know what he went through today and that he's "extremely ty-ty." Then he goes to the bathroom door, and...Kate? Katie? She's gone. Johnson shows up just as Yawn moves the bottle of ibuprofen and the medicine cabinet reveals itself to be a hidden arsenal. And on the scratched-off lottery tickets? "MULRAVIAN," "TARGET," "EXTREME," "PREJUIDICE." Yawn is agog. He should just pee himself already. Johnson is like, don't take my word for it, I'm paranoid. He's so good when he's bad! Yawn says he'll take Katie's car, and Johnson says he wouldn't do that, but what would he know? Yawn rushes to the street, clicks the door unlocked, and the car explodes. Yawn drops to the ground, and we get the explosion shot we've seen in all the ads. Yawn makes an opened-mouthed "whuh?" face as Johnson laughs. "She's not a spy, is she, son!"

We're in the Washington, DC airport, and everyone arrives. Scotty and Drone rush inside, chattering about how great it will be back in Mulravia. Katie, in sunglasses and a great vintage-looking plaid coat, tails them. Yawn and Johnson run inside and see Jane. The last three split up, Johnson barking for everyone to "keep [their] fricken-frack eyes open." Hee.

Drone is explaining to Hotty that the palace was destroyed long ago, but he will have a nice apartment, "kind of like embassy." Scotty's face falls a little. Dude. Exposed brick? Lots of light? It was nice!

Johnson sees Katie and yells for Yawn. Katie strides purposefully in her plaid coat. Johnson says that Yawn should tackle her and "snap her neck on the way down." This, of course, does not work.

No upgrades for royalty at the gate? Okay then, Scotty goes to take a leak.

Katie asks if Yawn tried to take her car. He did, and it wasn't working well. Please don't kill my drummer, he begs. She says that they had fun together, but Yawn doesn't want to get involved in this. She sprays him with Spies Like Us Pass-Out Spray, and he passes out. Hey, that stuff works great! She puts her sunglasses on his face and strides off. Johnson, disgusted, waves his hand in front of Yawn's unseeing eyes.

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Dead Last

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