Deadline

Episode Report Card
Heathen: D | 485 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Who Am I? I'm Jean Valjean!

Wally storms into Andrieson's office and announces he will barge right inside. The secretary attempts to call security. "Security won't get there," grins Wallace. "See, you pick up the phone" -- she does -- "and I walk in." As he saunters into Andrieson's office, Wallace cups his breasts and chants, "Go New York, Go New York, Go!" Repulsed, Andrieson instantly becomes a reformed adulterer. Wallace grabs a photo of Mrs. Andrieson and asks if she's the understanding type. Infuriated, Andrieson asks Benton what the hell he wants. Wallace explains that something doesn't compute -- he initially told police he couldn't see who threw the rock, then he turned around and fingered O'Hare at the trial. "The statute of limitations on perjury is five years," blurts Andrieson. Oh, this man is good under pressure. An absolute oak. Wallace marvels at how that information is on the tip of Andrieson's tongue. Then, Wally repeats the "Go, New York" chant in a girly voice while pinching his nipples. Wow, forget it -- after this, Andrieson isn't touching another woman again for the rest of his life. His wife probably wouldn't know the difference. Andrieson refuses to recant his testimony, but does say that a Carl Cavender infiltrated the SDS, then came to his dorm room and busted him for marijuana. "My father was running for re-election. It could've ruined him," Andrieson says. Cavender also threatened to have him sent to Vietnam in exchange for -- this part is implied -- false testimony incriminating O'Hare. Wallace is delighted and leaves the office with a wink.

It's official. I really cannot root for the Knicks again, or else I'll hear that chant and see Oliver Platt clutching his knockers. It's too much.

Brooke and Wallace stroll down a long, staid hallway as she asserts that he owes her one. "Anything you want," he sputters. "The apartment," Brooke demands. Wallace refuses. She proceeds with the plan anyway -- Wallace hangs back while Brooke gets buzzed into the FBI's Internal Affairs office. In a breathy voice, she demands an audience with Carl Cavender, and refuses to accept the explanation that Cavender has been transferred to a classified location. "Go in there and tell him for me that I am pregnant and that it times out perfectly with one of his premature ejaculations," Brooke says sweetly. Yeah, I'll buy that they didn't think that explanation would sound convincing coming from Wallace -- I mean, really, who on Earth would be able to ejaculate with Wallace? Flustered, the guard obliges, and Brooke sneaks over to buzz Wallace into the room. Cavender struts out angrily and is greeted with hasty introductions and Brooke's haughty statement that they outsmarted his "Ken doll" guard. Wallace says they have proof putting him at Columbia the night of the protest, as well as evidence that he asked Andriesen to perjure himself and that he worked on the Red Squad. Cavender coolly wonders why they haven't taken this proof to the D.A. Flustered, Wallace tries another tack, but Cavender knows they're bluffing. "Now, if you and your little tart will excuse me..." Cavender says, leaving. Brooke's jaw drops and she storms out spitting nails.

Deadline

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