Driving down the streets of Manhattan, Si's car passes Hobbs and honks to get his attention. Si rolls down the window. "So you thought you could just sail off into the Bermuda sunset and no one would be the wiser?" Si asks gently. He explains that Benton will expose him in the column, under the headline, "Chopin Handler." Hobbs visibly crumples. "Thanks for the warning," he says, inviting Si to visit him in Bermuda before disappearing into the building. This scene is here to justify Tom Conti's paycheck.

The next day, Zander complains to Brooke that every paper is trying to call him for information about Catherine's scam. Brooke presses him for her full interview, explaining that her profile is due and there's a gaping hole on the Ledger cover waiting for her to fill it. "The media is gonna drive me over the edge!" Zander seethes, except for Paul Rudd, "seething" involves running fingers through his wild on-end hair. Brooke is really frumpy, man. She dresses like a grandmother. Wait, scratch that -- my eighty-nine year old grandmother is actually hipper than Brooke. Zander says he didn't know about the fund-raising scam, but was aware that an impending audit freaked Catherine out completely. Brooke says that Wallace thinks Catherine's death was suicide, and Zander totally snaps at her and storms off to pout on a park bench. "When I was in college, I dumped this guy and he tried to kill himself," Brooke confesses. "I felt guilty." She is trying to reach out to Zander. Suicide stories are always the way to connect romantically with another human being. Really. Zander says he doesn't feel a thing inside, but Brooke doesn't think sex with an emotionally vacant carcass would be much fun, so she still pushes for more info. "After I filed for divorce, she became depressed," Zander admits. "Rather than face life alone and ruined, she" started running a scam. Waving his hand, Zander decides to escape for a weekend and invites Brooke to his love shack in The Berkshires. He agrees to devote Saturday to the exclusive interview, then leave her to write so that by sundown he can play her bongos. It takes Brooke two seconds to agree, since it's probable the last man she bedded was Benton and if that streak lasts any longer the mere memory will force her into celibacy.