Lovers And Madmen

Episode Report Card
Heathen: D | Grade It Now!
No Sex For The Wicked

It's quite a relief at this point that Wallace's Pulitzer Prize is not a primary character, as it was last week.

Nikki Masucci chases Brooke through the newsroom asking about the cover story. Brooke lies that it's almost done. Nikki uses this time to get in one last dig about blending business with booty calls. Based on the promos for next week, she should be giving that speech in a mirror, but -- I'm ahead of myself. Bebe isn't ready for the spotlight yet. She's too much of a novice. Anyway, Brooke sasses, "Anything else, Sister Mary Masucci?" As Brooke boards the elevator, Nikki calls after her, "Bang half the Yankees if you want to, I don't care. Just not if you're a Sports editor." The doors close just as Wallace appears and asks Nikki if she's seen "Brookie." Nikki says that Brookie left acting huffy, Wally thinks it was his folly but Nikki says nooky jokes made Brookie cranky. Long Duck Dong pops in and shouts, "No more yanky my wanky," but it's too late -- the sentence rhythm has already been broken.

Wallace theorizes that Catherine's death makes no sense -- a vegan yoga fiend who never so much as took caffeine, and yet her toxicology report shows hordes of antidepressants. Charlie calls him a conspiracy nut. "Do I pay you to come into my office and insult me?" Wallace snaps. Charlie helpfully points out that he gets nothing from Wallace for his sweat. He joins the long list of people who have been forgetting to maul Wallace for his arrogance. Beth sighs that half of Manhattan is on antidepressants, so who the hell cares about this case. Wallace orders Beth to find out what prescription drugs Zander is taking, while ordering Charlie to follow the laundered money and see where it's being spent and by whom.

Cut to an alley in which Beth is meeting with a pharmacist. Somehow, she coerced him to dip into the confidential files and pass along vital information about Zander. How did she get him to agree? I wonder... "You say your brother's a drug addict and you want to get him in rehab?" the pharmacist asks. I love how this show backs into all its scenes this way. Rather than show the action, piddling little throwaway characters talk about it after the fact. The pharmacist basically confirms that Zander's a walking medicine cabinet.

Wallace resumes the delicate Detective Klein love dance. "Fries will kill you, Klein," he says. "I'll die from aggravation long before I'm fully clogged," Klein replies. Wallace cuts right to it: Catherine was murdered, and the proof's in the bloodstream. Catherine died of an antidepressant cocktail mixed from pills prescribed to Zander Price, and the research of non-detective Benton proved it. Actual-detective Klein considers this, then Wallace adds that anyone taking those pills is cautioned against taking them with red wine, so it looks pretty clear that Zander spiked his wife's drink. "What's the motive?" asks Klein, the paid detective in this scenario. "Sex, money. Call the IRS," says Wallace, who -- once more -- is not a detective. He asks Klein for a source who can confirm all of this off-the-record, which confuses me because technically that's called "evidence" and would come in handy in a homicide investigation, but whatever. Klein doesn't care much for detecting things.

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