Lovers And Madmen

Episode Report Card
Heathen: D | Grade It Now!
No Sex For The Wicked

Wallace and Charlie meet with Klein's source, Rick, an auditor who can follow the dirty-money trail. He's reluctant to name names, even though he's off the record. Wallace sips coffee and lies that Charlie is a Dallas-based composer from a poor neighborhood who thought the New Composer Fund would save him and let him share his singular musical gifts with the world. Charlie chips in, "Now I'm living in New York, and I'm wondering where my school money went." Rick is guilted into confessing: hundreds of thousands went toward vacations, thousands to chartered jets and chauffeurs and three times that total in simple shopping bills. "She made half that," Rick admits. "She handled all the finances...making him sing for their supper and when he wasn't in the mood [to do that], she's dope him up until he was." Rick leaves in a huff and Wallace grins to Charlie that they just found the motive. "Zander finds out she's hopping him up like a circus freak...files for divorce, finds out the bank is empty," Wallace says. Charlie speculates that such news would push anyone over the edge. "Exactly," Benton says. "He kills her with his own medicine." There's an adage in there somewhere.

Brooke sits at a wooden dining table in a palatial hallway. Her laptop is set up and she's working on the Zander profile. "When was the last time you were in Utica?" she asks. Zander snaps that he's from there and doesn't want to rehash this crap. "I wouldn't visit there as a ghost...I disowned my mother." He lights a fire and gets very morose as Brooke again pressures a response from him. "She had me performing in public like a marionette since I was six," Zander spits. "She made money off me and gave it to her boyfriend and their two moron bastard children, okay? Got a big enough piece out of me, Brooke?" The flames lick the logs and cast an eerie glow onto Paul Rudd's stony face. He's acting with his eyes, and the eyes say "arsonist." They also say "I wish I was an Oscar Mayer wiener," but I think that was inadvertent.

Wallace and Hildy desperately concoct a plan to get Zander's number at the country home. Hildy calls one of her sources, a supermodel who once dated Zander, and leaves a message. As she flips through a killer double-rolodex for more potential informants, Wallace hops onto the computer and starts shouting for Feldman, the computer genius of last week. The producers are as bored as I am by Feldman, so we leave the scene there.

As Brooke's fingers fly across the keyboard, Zander's hands caress his piano. Call me insane, but I call it instinct -- there's some kind of a parallel here between his artistry and hers. Dreamily, Brooke closes her eyes and realizes that her hormonal song is two minutes away from being transposed into a higher key. "Are you done yet?" asks a horny and impatient Zander. She says she's moments away, and tells him to go upstairs and slip into something more comfortable while she proofreads it and sends it to Nikki. He kisses her and she tugs on his shirt.

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