Lovers And Madmen

Episode Report Card
Heathen: D | Grade It Now!
No Sex For The Wicked

Brooke barges into a half-naked Zander's dressing room and then apologizes for doing so. "But you're barging nonetheless," Zander says. "'Nonetheless' is not usually heard in polite conversation," Brooke says. What is she talking about? Did she get drunk just from sitting next to Wallace and inhaling the whiskey vapors emanating from his sweat glands? Zander continues unbuttoning his shirt and makes a flirtatious remark about how rude things could get if he keep stripping. "I saw you in the audience and my heart leapt," Zander murmurs. "Row seven, one seat in from the aisle. Your date was snoring." Brooke, anxious to look available, corrects that Wallace isn't her date, but her ex-husband. She'd be better off pretending it was a one-time date, because the other option exposes her as demented enough to marry Benton in the first place, and hits home that they've slept together. Repeatedly. Hey, Brooke -- when the nun said "Climb Every Mountain," I don't think she meant it literally. Brooke pretends she and he were supposed to have an interview the next day and jots down her phone number so Zander can call her if his grief subsides. Wallace chooses this moment to barrel into the room, stops short when he sees Brooke and mumbles something about being sorry for the loss of Catherine. He regurgitates what Hobbs told him. "It was a blow to every young musician and composer, indeed, the entire world of classical music," Zander responds. Brooke looks at him, enthralled, thinking she'd love to be a blow for every young musician and composer in the world. Zander leaks that Catherine had a sister, Delores, and then Brooke abruptly cuts in that she's not finished with her pre-interview -- after all, that involves debriefing the subject, and Zander's clearly still wearing his. Wallace stares at her, then winks and leaves the room.

Chasing Delores our of her apartment building, Wallace asks whether she's suing the transportation honchos for the brutal death of her sister. Delores spits that she's not the next of kin -- Catherine was married. "More like a very long divorce that started on her wedding day," Delores snarls. "If I were her, I wouldn't have stepped out of the way, either." Wallace demands to know who married Catherine, but Delores is too busy calling him a vulture and rebuking him for invading privacy. Just a thought -- shouldn't Sammy Klein, even in a cursory investigation, have gathered all this information for the official record? Stuff like next-of-kin and marital status and the like? He should get fired -- but this is television, so he's safe as long as he remains the bumbling foil to Wallace's genius. And the "little" to Wallace's "large."

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