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Pilot

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Meet the Titans

Jenny arrives at the marina, tanked to the gills. We know that Billy is here because there's a swank automobile with a vanity plate that reads "Billy Be." She lets out with a loud "Ahoy Matey," and a mystery blonde woman emerges from the cabin. Jenny reasons that this must be Billy's sister Monica -- you know, the one he named the boat for, the way any man names his million-dollar yacht after his sister. It's the tradition of the sea. The blonde informs Jenny that she is, in fact, Billy's wife -- also coincidentally named Monica, just like his sister. Ah, his wife. Yes, that makes more sense. Okay, so this is the big secret that nobody but Laurie knew? I would say that Monica probably knew this, as did any friends and relatives who were at the wedding. Now Billy emerges wondering what the commotion is all about. Yikes! How did this happen? Let's see, I took my mistress to my boat, which is named after my wife. Surely the two of them will never be there at the same time. As Billy flounders around for an explanation, Jenny makes an intentionally bad cover for her presence there. We knew that Billy wasn't a great actor, but he even acts badly when he's supposed to be acting badly. He just keeps wildly shifting his eyes from his wife to his mistress. (I thought it was important to use the word "mistress" at least once in this recap.) Drunk, embarrassed and looking nasty in yellow, Jenny runs back to her car. She hops in, starts to cry and then rams her car into Billy's. She pulls out and rams his car again. You go girl!

Richard bursts through Gwen's door. He can't believe that Jenny's been drinking and, worse yet, that she's smashed the car of the guy who cheated on his wife with her. There's some really shitty dialogue here to explain how both Richard and Gwen know about Jenny's histrionics. Pops wants her back in rehab, but the last one terrified her to death. Richard wonders whether he's to blame. Is it because he doesn't spend enough time with her? She is only thirty, after all. Taking a breather, Richard is thankful that every week isn't like this one. Me too; we're only forty-five minutes into this show and my wrists and fingers are killing me. Gwen reminds him that the week's not over yet. Isn't he getting married tomorrow? Shit -- that's right. We all forgot. Richard asks Gwen to come to the wedding. After all, he's never d├ębuted a plane without her, why not continue the tradition with marriages. Um...yeah. They certainly are the most civilized divorced couple ever. Just then, Laurie and Jenny arrive. Jenny immediately starts to cry and there's a genuinely (as genuine as this show can get) touching group hug.

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