Deadwood
A Lie Agreed Upon, Part II

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: A | 4 USERS: A+
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A Lie Agreed Upon, Part II
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!
We open in this current episode in Al's office, where he is finally seeking decent medical treatment for the beatdown he received the day before. Doc is binding his ribs, and trying to distract Al from asking about Bullock's condition. Al brags unnecessarily about the wounds he gave Bullock -- though we all know Al took the worst of the beating. Doc says won't talk about his other patients, and wants to know about Al's "other" problem, the urinary issue. Al won't go for it, though. He tells Doc to "inform that fuckin' lunatic [Bullock], next you see him, I'm fit as a fucking fiddle, and ready to play on." Doc tries again. "Inform me, Al," he says, "to what mark in your piss pot did you fill."

I have to say that Doc has what must be the most difficult job in Deadwood, the whores included. At least they know what they're working with. It's not like Doc can do an X-ray on somebody to see what's going on in their prostate should they not be able to fill their piss pots to the appropriate mark.

Al tells him that the volume was adequate, which is a lie. Doc asks if there has been "any discharge of gleets, burning or soreness." Need I get into how gross the words "discharge" and "gleets" are, together OR separately? Oh, and for the unmedically schooled, here's how the dictionary defines a gleet: "Inflammation of the urethra resulting from chronic gonorrhea and characterized by a mucopurulent discharge. Or, the discharge that is characteristic of this inflammation. In men, can cause stricture of the penis."

Mucopurulent! Stricture! Of! The! Peniiiiiiiiiiiiis! Sweet dreams, y'all! If you're trying to convince your teenager of the importance of safe sex, whip out gleets next time.

We're all thankful when Johnny bursts in and interrupts this doctor-patient interview with Al's suit back from Wu's laundry. It has been "aromafied" in some kind of strong solvent. He's making a face like it's an overwhelming smell. What do you want to bet it's just soap? Because, as we know, not many in Deadwood would recognize such an odor. Al suggests quite calmly that perhaps Johnny should let it air out somewhere for a while. Al gets annoyed that he takes it out to the balcony, but doesn't have the strength to get mad about it. As Johnny leaves, Doc asks again about the possible gleets and whatnot, and before Al can answer, the door opens again and in walks a smug E.B. Farnum, announcing that Bullock has come back to the Grand Central and gone upstairs to the widow Garret's room.

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Deadwood

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