Deadwood
Leviathan Smiles

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Al Lowe: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Leviathan Smiles

The NG is over this and says he has one errand to run before going to San Francisco and wearily heads toward the Grand Central. Steve, however, can't accept that his reverse psychology isn't working. He ramps it up. "We will never be equal, sign or fucking no," he shouts. "And if I agreed to your name on the signage, we would know the fucking truth still." I don't know how the NG can resist such great offers, but he does, wordlessly continuing toward his destination. "Fucking n*gger bastard!" Steve launches into a soliloquy of complaints to the NG's horse. "Assuming to leave without my consent!" he huffs. "Not without a fucking saddle, he won't. Not if I hide his fucking saddle till he reveals fucking Hostetler's n*gger voodoo ciphering methods, so accounts ain't constantly to be carried around in the man's mind till he lives in terror of taking a drink!" Yes, brilliant scheme. The horse, for his part, gives him a look of full-on "Yyyeah...You know what? I'm gonna stay out of it" look. I don't know how they trained him to do that, but the damn horse is a genius. "Implying what by that fucking lordly look?" Steve asks, catching his eye. "That he'll outflank my tactics buying a new fucking saddle?" He grabs up a shoe pick, or whatever it's called that they use to unshod a horse. I fear for a moment that his next brilliant idea will be to break the horse's leg -- the horse fears it, too, I can tell -- but no, he just plans to remove ol' Lamar's (this is the name I have decided on for the horse) shoes. But, see, Lamar ain't down for that. He bucks and neighs, causing Steve great consternation. "That's right. Harp and fucking criticize until there's a fucking solution in the offing, and then become fucking obstinate," he bitches. "Now, for the last fucking time, give me a fucking hoof."

Meanwhile, the NG has gone over to see Aunt Lou to return the Odell-bribe money she gave him. She tells him about Odell's plans to meet up with Hearst's man in New York and travel to Liberia. The NG gets a worried look but tries to assuage her fears and agrees that Odell will probably be okay. She offers to make him some food before he goes, and his soft eyes are very grateful.

Upstairs at the Gem, Al is explaining to Wyatt Earp how stuff gets done in Deadwood. Wyatt is, well, a little embarrassed when Al makes it clear that their whole Road Agent Rescue story is obviously bullshit. "Road agents, story goes, don't work these hills but by my leave," he says. "Which, if that's true, explains why I'm fucking interested in what you're telling." Wyatt tries to play it off and says that well, maybe it wasn't road agents -- maybe it was just unknown parties that he and his brother fought off. Al smirks and rolls his eyes to Dan. "Ears flat back to the head, nose without boils, fucking modest..." he says. "A proper hero, Dan." Wyatt tries to keep up the unkown parties pretense and says he can't describe the guys they attacked. Al insists. "My meaning would be, them firing, I didn't get a good fucking look at them," Wyatt shoots back. "I'd also say you're fucking free with your reprehending tone." Whoa, now. Wait a second, new guy. You're cute and all, but...are you kidding me with that? I know he only has nine fingers, but do you understand the magnitude of badass you're dealing with, here? Did you maybe also hear, just now, Dan pull out his knife? Let me assure you that a season one Al would have already ordered your garroting. Lucky for you, Al has bigger worries and cuts to the chase. "My opinion, may come out of vanity, your tale's full of shit. I say, or else I'd have known of 'em, there was no road agents," he says, with considerable eyebrow. "I say, to make a hero's entrance into camp, you and your friend kicked up dust, whooped and hollered and played all the parts yourselves." Finally, Wyatt gives it up. The whole road agents scheme and subsequent Earp Brothers entrance into camp was his idea. Now, see? That's all Al wanted to hear. He's all about honesty. "Any others?" he asks, quick to explain that he means not brothers, but ideas on how to spend time in camp.

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Deadwood

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