Deadwood
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B | 8 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Pilot

Sampson, who is blocking the scaffold in front of the jail, and who clearly has an "if I don't kill him, nobody kills him" issue, tells Bullock that if he and his partner plan on making it to Deadwood, they'd better not try to get the prisoner up on that scaffold.

"That's a deal, you loudmouth cocksucker," Bullock clenches out, and our Cocksucker Countdown is ON like the BREAK OF DAWN. Favorite word of all Deadwoodians: "cocksucker." You can't get five minutes in without it, and it flows like wine throughout the rest of the hour. I myself love a well-placed curse word, or ten, but I normally don't care for the gratuitous swearing. However, these people have raised it to such an art form, they make The Sopranos look like a ladies' tea club, and one has to just embrace it.

Bullock throws the rope up over a porch beam and gets ready to hang the guy right there. The prisoner, realizing what's going down, makes his last pitch. "Listen, this ain't right. My sister was coming tomorrow."

Kicking over a stool, Bullock asks what he would have her told. Abandoning his stall for a second, the prisoner complains that the stool won't allow him enough of a drop, and that he'll hang and strangle for twenty minutes before dying. Bullock promises to help him with the drop, and tells him to get on with his report to his sister.

Sampson is getting impatient, realizing his fun for the night is about to get ruined. He fires into the air again, causing Sol to nervously cover the scene with his own gun. Bullock tells Sampson to stick it. Sampson answers with a pouty "you don't get to tell us what to do," which sounds just like "you're not my real dad!" He then menaces the prisoner and tells him not to jump off the stool. Prisoner: "Or what, you'll kill me?" You tell him, dead guy.

The prisoner asks that his sister be told to look after his boy and raise him good. "What else?" Bullock asks. "Tell her...give him my boots. Tell him his daddy loved him. Tell him, he asked God forgiveness." Bullock: "Anything else?" Prisoner: "You help me with my fucking fall!" Bullock steps off the porch, never taking his eyes off the mob, who in turn are open-mouthed in rapt attention listening to the prisoner, and says, "Come ahead."

With one last "FECK YEEEW!" the guy falls forward. He struggles for just a second, choking, until Bullock reaches around his waist and jerks him forward, breaking his neck. Bullock takes a moment to look conflicted. I think he might have a tear in his eye. Being a Marshal is hard, people.

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Deadwood

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