Don't Be A Dummy

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
The Harlem Fakeout

Motorcycle: "What are you talking about? I can pay for the wine she shoplifted..."
Cop: "Also you kidnapped a child, did you forget that part?"

Haverstock appears out of nowhere, and rescues Motorcycle from the cop. Man, I really thought the goon was gonna take him out. I like that guy.


Julian: "Anybody else want to come live here? Joanna, did you tell anybody else they live here?"
Joanna: "No, just Mia. And you are welcome."
Mia: "Wait, are you guys in love? That's complex."
Julian: "You already knew that."
Mia: "Remember that time we burned your hardwoods by lighting sparklers indoors?"
Julian: "Yeah. It was my last thought right before I punched your mom in her stupid pregnant face."
Mia: "I am having an identity crisis, did you know that?"
Julian: "Vivian was probably murdered because she wanted to take you from Sofia."
Mia: "Not because she was barely out of rehab and it was a bad idea?"
Julian: "No, just because Sofia is fucking crazy."
Mia: "At least Vivian wanted me, there at the end. Listen, do you know who my dad was?"
Julian: "I'm gonna say... No."


Sofia: "Boo! Hey, Joanna. I was just sitting here in your room in the dark, gettin' crunk and actin' weird. Thanks for finding Mia, however you did that."
Joanna: "She's pretty awesome."
Sofia: "I know what you think of me. The thing is that I did care about Vivian. She made it rough..."
Joanna: "Yeah, she was a helicopter crash of a person."
Sofia: "Lol. Listen, I only agreed to steal Mia from her mother to impress Robert. I had no idea I would come to love that child so much. Do you believe me?"
Joanna: "Yeah, I do. Also, you never, ever lie. I feel really close to you right now."

Sméagol suddenly turns into Gollum and it's amazing. (Also amazing? Microsoft Office will just go ahead and autocorrect "Sméagol" for ya.)

Sofia: "You know what, bitch? I don't think you do. I don't think you give a shit about any of this, actually. And so I am throwing you out."
Joanna: "Really?"
Sofia: "Yeah, I just decided. Emotional volatility plus this giant glass of whiskey equals mood swings equals pack your shit, dummy."


Edward: "So you need to take the girls and move to California, like you talked about early in this show."

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