Deception
Good Luck With Your Death

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Love Is Not Love

Joanna: "Yeah, all right. See you later, tool."

HOSPITAL

Personnel: "It's a fairly simple procedure. Unless something goes terribly wrong, you can look forward to flu-like symptoms, headache, bone pain, maybe a skin rash..."
Mia: "Whatever, that's fine. I am being awesome today. BRB, bathroom break."

Senator: "Motorcycle, you are looking particularly gorgeous today. Just saying. Also, we're nearly done with this charade."
Kyle: "Good. I mean, the part where you've assumed responsibility of a relationship that was already going on, I'm glad that'll be over with."
Senator: "Don't you get shirty with me, Motorcycle. I'm still going to control your every move. It's just now, I might live longer and do that for longer."
Kyle: "You know what? This is stupid."

He goes into the bathroom -- Dwight shouting and banging all around the place -- and just straight up informs Mia of everything that's going on. Like he goes, "Have a seat" and then goes point-by-point through their whole relationship, post-Cotillion. It's a sign of my growing affection for the show, and for old Kyle, that I was actually pleased to learn he wasn't a plant from the beginning: The arrest was the first time Dwight was in the picture.

BACK HOME

Mia, sobbing: "Broke up with Kyle! And I have decided against saving a life!"
Sofia: "Well that's terrible news."
Mia: "Because it makes me as shitty as the rest of you?"
Sofia: "And also because now Mommy's in a jam."

It's amazing, in that Sofia way of being amazing, where even as she's lovingly tut-tutting her daughter, her whole face is just going FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCK.

EDWARD

Is being followed by a heavy. A real tough costumer. He walks around all over town, faster and more scaredy, and finally loses the guy. I could easily watch a show called Tate Donovan Is Nonplussed where for an hour each week, Tater D tries to figure out if somebody is going to kill him or not, while walking from place to place. It is heady. Eventually the guy pulls a gun! Tate jumps into a taxi and escapes!

And it's worth noting that my first thought was, "Yeah, go cry to Will. He's gonna laugh in your face and say guns don't exist and nobody ever killed anybody and then call Joanna up just to yell at her." Which is essentially what happens. "Go take a hot shower, eat some breakfast, and lay off the sauce, ya drama queen."

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Deception

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