Will: "Ed, I'm just trying to do my job. By not doing my job. At all."
(You should totally join the marrow registry, by the way. It's super easy, you just swab your cheeks, mail it in, cross your fingers you never have to donate. Every time I get an email from them I'm like, "Aw, fuck." But so far they haven't come knockin'.)
Mia: "I'm a pretty tough kid, but needles. Eh."
Senator: "Motorcycle, hold Mia's hand. You are her legit boyfriend with no other agenda going on. That's what is happening here."
Motorcycle: "Uh that is actually what is happening here, sir. Stop narrating."
Mia: "How long will the Senator live, without my life-giving marrow?"
Science: "Like ten minutes. He will drop dead faster than a coed at Edward Bowers's house."
BOWERS PHARM PARANOIA
Joanna: "Shit, you guys. Why do you assholes keep sneaking up on me? Are we not aware that I was abducted by a Russian mobster and had to fight myself out like I'm Lara Croft over here?"
Julian: "I just came to get my stapler."
Joanna: "Is that a metaphor, or just one of those things that happens on this show where there is a glitch in the Matrix and suddenly it's normal for people to quit their jobs at the family dynasty but come back for some office supplies in a big box like that?"
Julian: "I just want you to know that I am very happy with Audrey Cruz. Do it backwards, you don't even have to see her million awkward smirks and constant facial tics. Just that pretty hair."
Joanna: "Are you for real right now? Let me walk you out. Your dad couldn't possibly hold a lower opinion of my work ethic at this point, so a stroll sounds nice."
Ugh, That Reporter: "Sexual tension! I am a shipper, I shouldn't be allowed to watch television, because I am too stupid to watch television! Oooh, are you going to smooooch? Are you going to touch his peeeeenis? Oooooooh! Hee hee hee! Kissing! 'Jolian'! Or ooh, oooh, 'Julianna'! Do you like that? It's your two names, put together into one name. Smushed together just like your faces will be when you are K-I-S-S-I-N-G! I'm so very lonely."
Joanna: "Seriously? The shippers are showing up now? Five seconds from the end of the show? Great, thanks a lot."