Deception
Deception

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 134 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good

BREAKFAST @ BOWERS

Edward: "Julian? Oh, probably helping a stripper work out her daddy issues. If you want me to go find him, I'm gonna need some singles."
Robert: "Gross, Edward. But fair. Let us not forget how insane he went last time somebody died."
Edward: "That was before you were born, Mia. Everything was great."
Robert: "Mia, please actually eat your breakfast. This ain't the UES."
Mia: "Sorry, but like I just think it's really weird? That like nobody cares my sister is dead?"
Robert: "Mia, WASPs don't really show grief. We pick each other's scabs and use substances in an out of control way, and occasionally punch stuff. Julian has us on the second one, Edward's always good for the third."
Sofia: "She was a black pit of need, Mia. We're better off without her."

Edward: "Hey, you know that dangerous cancer drug we shouldn't be selling? Maybe our PR can't handle both of these things at the same time."
Robert: "Nonsense. I love money and killing people through money."
Edward: "Well, can we at least agree that your agreement with Joanna is ridiculous?"
Robert: "No way. I feel guilty about the death of my daughter, so I'm taking care of a substitute version of her. She makes me feel both nostalgic and charitable. The only two wholesome things an old white fuck like me can feel."

Actually, also he says something portentous about how there's a "reason" she showed up at their door that is intended to seem flighty, like how everything is meant to be (or maybe like my childhood conviction that Laura Palmer's soul had transmigrated into Donna's body), but will probably turn out to mean Robert is onto her and will end up chasing her around the house in the dark ten episodes from now.

DRIVEWAY

Get used to this driveway because half of the episode takes place in this driveway. Joanna's POS car does not function. She tries in vain, but it does not function. A giant silver fox man approaches and knocks on the window. First it is scary, because you can't see his face, and then you realize it's probably not actually scary, and then he knocks on the window and she is scared, but then she recognizes him and says in this wonderful way, "Rayburn!" So the final score is: Not scary. (Spoiler alert, totally scary. But like Sofia, up there in her wing of the house, poppin' pills and twirlin' her skirts and whatever wonders she gets up to in that big old house all day, he's still kind of awesome.)

Deception

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