One, Two, Three… One, Two, Three

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+

"It's my buddy's [loft]! He shoots commercials for money and crazy pictures for fun!"

My emph. Saints preserve us.

Mia: "So, like, are you my boyfriend? You literally coalesced out of a greasy cloud in the corner of an art exhibit, as though my dumbest fantasies were given life."
Kyle: "Do you like motorcycles?, I said."
Mia: "Yeah, so are we in love, or..."
Kyle: "I forgot you're a dumb teenager. Sure, we're in love. Let's get to know each other. Tell me some random irrelevant stupid things about yourself, so we can both look like assholes."
Mia: "I learned to read when I was three!"
Kyle: "I learned to play the piano when I was six!"
Mia: "I am rich. My mother is incredible."
Kyle: "My father was a firefighter. He's dead now."
Mia: "This is literally the most fun I have ever had in my life."
Kyle: "The more you say that, the worse it'll be. Whatever it is I'm up to, when it comes, will be horrible to the exactly equal degree as you are now enjoying our fake relationship."
Mia: "Let's jump on that trampoline!"

They jump and queerly woo! and collapse in an absolute bloodbath of fake laughter. It's like a dimly remembered story a doddering old alien might tell you about what "children" used to be like, before all the children on his planet died. "I seem to remember they were innocent and passionate about the smallest things. I think maybe they liked trampolines. And 'fun.' It has been reported that they enjoyed having that."


Julian: "Edward, I've a conundrum. Senator Haverstock was at the Bahamas thing. As I knew he would be."
Edward: "He's the biggest alcoholic out of all of us now that Vivian is dead."
Julian: "So he says he can't push Lyritrol through the FDA without a sit-down with Dad. But then Dad says he wants Lyritrol pushed through the FDA, but also doesn't want to talk to Haverstock. And when I point out that these two things are exclusive, he just hollers at me."
Edward: "And now you want big brother Edward to clean up your mess."
Julian: "...No? It's not really my 'mess,' per se, so much as our father being unreasonable and insane. What I want you to do is come in the backdoor. Talk to Haverstock for me, feel him out about all this. Maybe even figure out what the problem is so we can fix it."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP