One, Two, Three… One, Two, Three

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 1 USERS: B+

Mia: "I may have flaked on an interview with the Times today."
Sofia: "I'm aware."
Mia: "It is my belief that he overreacted."
Sofia: "Is this about the boy on the motorcycle? This 'Kyle'?"
Mia: "It is about two things. First, yes, I should be grounded for lying and being disrespectful and abusive of popcorn."
Sofia: "Oh, I heard. Calpurnia had much to say on the subject of your kitchen mess."
Mia: "But two, Dad can't just rule out Kyle altogether. He has no right!"
Sofia: "Based on one isolated incident, you're saying."
Mia: "Yeah, because..."
Sofia: "I see your point. And my clutch is gone, forevermore. Remind me to fire Calpurnia. Now you and I have a date tomorrow, to go shopping for a new python clutch. And at that time, we will talk strategy. On the condition that you let the subject go until then and also fetch Mommy a chilled glass of Chardonnay."

Which, I don't know how you grew up, but that is clearly an entire agenda that just formed in Sofia's head: She can take the kid Kyle's temperature, talk Robert down, look like a total peacemaker and most of all get Mia to think her alliances are with Mia and against Robert. I love Sofia, but I do not like parents making deals. At all.

Firstly because you need a united front for any kind of authority to work -- which is not about your ego anyway, it's about providing your children with care and guidance -- and second of all because it doesn't benefit the children, who are not in a position to make those kinds of deals. It's asymmetric from the get-go, it blurs the lines and is done wholly by the weak and the manipulative. Never side against your spouse -- it's a creepshow and you're doing it for creepshow reasons. Bad Sofia!

...I forgive you, girl.


Joanna and Julian have a boring talk about pickup lines that doesn't really go anywhere, and it's all clich├ęs and they're just so boring, and then Joanna starts to push him. It's real subtle, watch:

Joanna: "'Do you have any Irish in you? Do you want some?' That's usually the kind of thing that would bring your slut sister down."
Julian: "I am not hugely comfortable talking about my sister getting fucked."
Joanna: "How about talking about how murdered she was?"
Julian: "It makes me sad, but being sad makes me drink. So let's drink."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP