JOANNA PADGET LOCASTO
Today Joanna's day with the SFPD is about taking out a meth lab. Like all TV meth labs -- and for all I know, real-life ones -- it's an apartment chock-full of freakos that has pieces missing out of the walls and exposed plumbing and various rooms that you can run through with bedsheet doorways, like always happens on Dexter. What does not always happen on that show, though, is great writing:
Joanna: "Stop! Stop! Don't move! Lady, where are you going? You have no pants!"
She tackles the pantsless lady and gets her down, so the lady punches her in the face, which is so offensive to Joanna -- "Really, methhead?" -- that she punches her the fuck on back. It's spectacular.
Later, we see Joanna getting pretty annoyed with her mom on the phone, because her mom recently went into assisted living care for Alzheimer's -- which equals automatic guilt because the more you try not to be annoyed with them the more annoying they get and you're not allowed to feel anything about it so all you can do is feel things about it and hate yourself for feeling things about it -- but eventually there's a knock at the door.
Joanna: "It's my old cop partner Will, who has moved to the FBI after our abortive attempt at a relationship two years ago. Fabulous. How was your day? I got punched by a lady with no pants."
Will: "I brought you dinner. How's your mom?"
Joanna: "Took a turn recently, making my already glamorous life ten times worse. But why are you really here? Are you getting married?"
Will: "No. But it is going to ruin your already-ruined day."
Cut to: Vivian is dead. Joanna flips out and heads to the bathroom for an ugly-cry, which on the one hand I admire that, but on the other hand we have known you like five minutes and I feel like I shouldn't be watching you do this. Luckily, it's intercut with a meaningful flashback. I have a feeling we're going to be seeing more of Vivian than Lily Kane and Alison DiLaurentis put together.
I freakin' love it when blonde ghost-sluts visit. And they always do, don't they?
Vivian: "I have no interest in college. Let's simply sunbathe forever."
Joanna: "I am here purely for your benefit and to relax. My tan is not something I am concerned about. But having said that, you most certainly are going to college with me."