But still, he stares into the darkness while she cuddles against his massive Motorcycle self, as though he has made a deal with the devil and at any moment he could be like, "No! Do not save a life! It feels so good to say this!"
FBI CALLING
Will: "Hey, I just walked the fuck into your house like people are always doing."
Robert: "Can I help you? PS, I already know who you are, and I am friends with your boss."
Will: "Rather than discussing anything with you like a grownup, I'm just going to immediately start badgering you about murdering your own pregnant daughter."
Robert: "That's uncalled for. Please leave, sir."
Will: "What, what did I say? Stop hitting yourself! I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you!"
Robert: "Oh my God, you're awful. Look, I wasn't going to say anything, but since you're being your usual prick self, how about I threaten your mother's life?"
Will, triumphantly: "There it is. There's the monster I knew you were."
Will: "Ugh, you get on my nerves."
Sofia: "And what's this? Oh, it's the man who sexually harassed me in Harlem."
Will: "Yeah, and now I'm here to bug you both. I'm bugging you! Are you so irritated?"
Sofia: "Honey, who is this jackass? Give him some money or something so he will go away."
Robert: "Honestly I don't know. He just showed up and started pissing on the carpets, it's really consternating."
Will: "Boom! I am victorious! I will now take my leave! 4chan!"
Robert: "Jesus H, this guy. What a loser. This is exactly why I hate poor people."
Sofia: "Seriously, why are you even here?"
Will: "To freak your minds! I don't really have a plan! Will Moreno OUT! Say hi to Wyatt!"
Sofia: "..Oof. Oooh, okay. That one kinda got to me."
BROS
Julian: "I have so many problems, for someone with no problems."
Edward: "I know, but it's sort of satisfying to know you invented all of them yourself."
Julian: "I think it's because mom died, making us three sad, angry little men with no one to show us how to be kind. Like Peter Pan, but rich and whiny as hell."
Edward: "Maybe you should cure ALS next."
Julian: "Maybe I would, if you hadn't ruined my career this morning."
Edward: "Oh right. My bad."
Julian: "At least tell me that Robert covered this whole thing up because he loves me."
Edward: "I cannot."









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