Carpet is 100 percent zoned out on Motorcycle's beautiful face. It's awesome, High Carpet is awesome. Finally Motorcycle goes, "Are you like okay?", and Carpet is just incredibly touched by this gesture. Mia can't even deal with the real-talk vibe right now though, because she is being lured into the foyer, where "some old dude" is waiting.
Haverstock: "Hey, kid."
Mia: "Get lost on your way to the Capitol?"
Haverstock: "You know your Senators! That's awesome. Robert should be proud."
Mia: "I don't think you're supposed to be here in this house, but um, Robert's not here to beat you up right now, so. If you could just come back at a more appropriate time, and also if you could overlook the drunk and stoned teens..."
Haverstock: "I've been doing that since before you were born, demonstrably. Actually I'm here to see you. I'm your dad."
High Carpet: "Heeeey guys! How's it going? Have you met your boyfriend Motorcycle? He's magical up close. I feel like he knows a secret, and I need to find out what it is, and then I think he will tell me this secret."
Mia: "Carpet, it's a bad time. I'm busy right now."
High Carpet: "My strategy is, I'm going to kiss him."
Mia: "Sure, whatever. Go for it."
Haverstock: "Vivian was totally going to tell you about how we are your parents..."
Mia: "Everybody keeps saying that! I mean, it's not enough of a bummer that my sister/mother died, it's also that this happened mere moments before my entire life became awesome?"
Haverstock: "I'm trying to be sincere right now. And it is phenomenal to watch."
Mia: "Look, I can do math..."
Haverstock: "Oh, that? Yeah, I totally raped her. But it's not that big a deal!"
Mia: "Did you love her?"
Haverstock: "More than I've ever loved anyone. I think about her every day."
Mia: "So I guess that's a win/win, then."
Julian: "I am kind of drunk! Both on champagne and on success. And then more champagne because of my shame about my success. Did you know my father is evil? And that somehow I am the worst of all four siblings?"
Joanna: "Yes, but for some reason I don't seem to mind."
Julian: "Anyway, for at least the next three seconds I am absolutely committed to being in love with you forever, or until I change my mind."
Joanna: "That's awesome? But I have a shit-ton of stuff going on right now, so..."
Julian: "Like every guy on this entire show, I feel entitled to respect and affection simply by my own desire for these things. If you don't immediately take me up on my ADD protestations of drunk infatuation, regardless of how you actually yourself feel, everyone will think you're a bitch."
Joanna: "Huh. That makes me feel pretty awful, but not as awful as Will dependably does, so... No dice. No sale."
Julian: "Fine, you're a bitch. See you back at home. At my house. Where you live. Bitch."