Robert, appearing: "EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! DRUNK TEENS OUT! HIGH TEENS OUT! CANDYFLIPPERS, MOLLYSIPPERS, ROLLERS AND TASKERS, ALL OF YOU, OUT! YOU TWO BOYS, GO MAKE OUT SOMEWHERE ELSE AND GET OFF MY DAUGHTER!"
Carpet: "Motorcycle, he's right. The situation is too volatile here on this couch. We need to take this party elsewhere, while Mia gets her just familial desserts."
Mia: "Motorcycle, please don't leave with Carpet. I have homeroom with that guy."
Robert: "LEAVE WITH CARPET, MOTORCYCLE. AT LEAST YOU WON'T KNOCK HIM UP!"
Sofia: "Oh, my. You know, this is really what I needed to brighten up my day. This is simply marvelous."

Robert lays down some excellent fatherly smack and Mia kinda pulls it together. Motorcycle and Carpet ride off into the misty millennial eve. One bitch slowly drains her red cup, staring Sofia right in the eye, and it is by far the best moment of the episode; another chick breaks a glass and Sofia's just like, "Charming. Really, dear?" Just when you think old Sofia's gonna zig, she zags. Who knew Teen Drug Orgy would bring her awesomeness so close to full blossom?

SOME BAR LIKE WHERE LAWYERS GO

Edward: "Some drink to remember. Some drink to forget. I drink to forget what I forgot."
Will: "I think we have more scenes together than any pair of people on this show. And yet we never really seem to recognize each other at first. It's weird."
Edward: "The only thing that could make tonight worse is happening right now. Guess what, it is you."
Will: "You sent your family across the country this morning. By bedtime, you have ruined a family function and quit the business and smacked your brother around. The last one I can understand, because -- and I say this honestly without bias -- he's a choad. But the others?"
Edward: "Oh my God, it's like you're not even watching this show. Vivian found evidence that proved Lyritrol's a bad drug, I told my dad, three days later she died. Then that reporter died. Then Ben Preswick died. Everybody died. I bet that USB guy is gonna bite it. Eventually we'll all die, and fuckin' Joanna will just be left to walk around our house, touching our fucking stuff, for the rest of time."