Tell Me

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
We Don't Want To Wreck But We Can Do A Lot Of Tricks
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!


Vivian decided she wanted to raise her mostly raised daughter about fifteen years too late, a whim that may have caused her murder. On learning she was the daughter of her sister, Mia tried to fill those stripper heels in a barrage of clichéd rebellions, eventually stealing a bottle of wine like some kind of anarchist, which led to her boyfriend's near-arrest and eventual alliance with her biological father, the smarmy/lovable rapist Senator Dwight Haverstock.

In addition to these stresses, her mother Sofia was also involved in some kind of heroin-related dangerous mess in Harlem, possibly spotting our lead character -- and all-around dummy -- Joanna, in the middle of doing her secret job of being a cop. One swift kick in the balls and an eviction by Sofia sends Joanna to join Mia at Julian's house of horrors, where presumably they will form a family of some kind, fueling Will's impotent and abusive rage further. As Edward begins to pull together the threads linking the family company's new drug to a string of deaths that is apparently ongoing, Julian's flexible affections are infiltrated by a consultant/con artist whose name I can never remember.


Joanna: "Nothing fulfills me quite so much as cooking for white people. Thanks for letting me, a grown woman with a job, stay in your herpes-slathered condo. It's hard for me to remember that I have agency just like any other adult."
Julian: "Oh it's okay, I only live on juices."
Mia: "And whores!"
Joanna: "Even if I weren't staying here under fake pretenses in order to chase the nonexistent and several-times-over disproven lead of you murdering your sister, I would probably still be doing this."

That awful woman from the opposing pharmaceutical company shows up, having twisted her ankle and tragically not been run over by a thousand trucks and pedicabs. Unlike Ben Preswick.

Mia: "Did you see this huge screaming front-page article about a guy getting hit by a bus?"
Joanna: "No, why is that news?"
Mia: "It isn't, but this show is pretty dumb. Look, it's Ben Preswick. There's a half-page portrait of him accompanying the article."
Joanna: "I don't know who that is, I think. It's hard to keep my dumb lies straight, since I'm such a dummy."

Julian: "Awful woman, why did you injure yourself? Is this a ruse?"
A.W.: "If it were, would I make up a mortifying story about how I was so very intensely listening to Def Leppard At The Tokyo Dome?"

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