Tell Me

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
We Don't Want To Wreck But We Can Do A Lot Of Tricks

Will: "You got fired from your gossip blogging job, though. So your work visa..."
Nicole: "Aren't we like best friends?"
Will: "Of course we are! But you blew my girlfriend's cover and nearly got everybody killed, and I know your next move is to do it again publicly so everybody dies for real."
Nicole: "You act like I'm irresponsible and shitty at my job!"
Will: "You fucked a homeless on the Xerox machine, Nicole."
Nicole: "I can still wage my bizarre one-woman war on the Bowers family without exposing Joanna. Why, look how far I've come! A single story that had nothing to do with the rest of this show or your investigation, published basically by accident to a website I don't work for and which would have immediately taken it back down the next morning."

Will: "No more stories about the Bowerses. For a hundred different reasons."
Nicole: "99% of them are..."
Will: "No. Listen. Do this. Or I will bring out my voice I only use to yell at women."
Nicole: "Your nonstop emotional abuse that is the only way you can relate to people has really indebted me to you. I won't write stories. But can I be a researcher for you?"
Will: "If there's one thing the FBI is known for, it's being loosey-goosey with HR requirements. You've got yourself a deal."


Robert: "[Lies.]"
Galawads: "[Applause.]"

Edward, on arrival: "Wait, we're going to market?"
Julian: "Yeah! Take that, Eddie Pasketti! Who's the fave now?"
Edward: "You, but only until Vivian's whole thing blows wide open. Do you not know about the hundred Thai deaths?"
Julian: "Fabulist!"
Edward: "No, Dad covered up the entire thing. Why the hell do you think we keep having to buy people off to get it launched?"
Julian: "But Lyritrol will eliminate the need for chemotherapy! It is my legacy! You're just jealous because finally I'm the one who has it easy!"
Edward: "For real? You're jealous of my life? My life that is entirely about being a rapist and strangler of women? I'm trying to save you from that kind of infamy..."
Julian: "Stop Occupying me and fuck off. You are pathetic!"

Those two assholes bust into a major fight, while Robert's still giving his speech up there, and finally all the screaming and rioting of the people in their black-tie gets him to break off. The whole time Joanna's shouting at Julian to get off Edward -- my first instinct, too, would be to save Tater D at any cost -- and Sofia's just wobbling and finally Robert wades in there to yell at everybody and everything about every subject. Edward shouts him down, though, quitting everything -- the job, the filial connection, the family of lies and coverups and stolen babies and Harlem protection money, all of it -- on his way out. There is not a person there left unimpressed with him, because he is wonderful.

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