Joanna: "Now can we talk about how I tried to attack you with a corkscrew and accused you of murdering your pregnant sister?"
Julian: "Nah, we're good. Let's dance!"
So then they dance, because Julian is bored of being bitchy about that. Once Audrey returns from barfing, Joanna is left alone. Don't be sad, Joanna. The second Audrey betrays him utterly he'll just move on to some other ethnicity, and Audrey will be on the sidelines next to you. But wait, who's this? Senator Awesome, it seems, is also in attendance -- his niece, the excellently named Whitney Pinger, is also making her debut.
Sofia: "Jesus Christ, Robert. Time and place. This is about Mia, remember?"
Robert: "Mia. Yes, our fake daughter. I can bludgeon Haverstock at any old public gala."
Sofia: "Just drink more, it's what I'd do. It's what I'm doing."
At some point in here, Senator Haverstock catches Joanna's attention, and -- in what is surely the MVP play of the entire episode -- doesn't break eye contact as he reaches out and snaps the beak off of an ice sculpture of a swan. It is some legendary shit. He drops the beak into his martini glass, swirls it around, and gives her some kind of hubba-hubba creepshow grin that reminds you what we're all here to see. Even Joanna seems impressed by how balls-out crazy/awesome Haverstock is.
Mia: "Give me that flask, Carpet."
Carpet: "I got a blowout for this shindig, can't you tell?"
Mia: "Yeah, now your hair looks like shag carpet. You know what's stupid? Cotillion."
Carpet: "How can you say that?"
Mia: "Nothin' says you're ready for marriage like dancing with your dad."
Carpet: "Wow, you're right. What the hell are we doing here?"
He heads off to do some bullshitty Nice Guy stuff to people, and it's mortifying and gross as usual, and then he figures out that Mia is Vivian's daughter and that's why everybody is looking at their phones. For an Edward's Key Search amount of time, he tries to shut it down, but this is the information age, baby. Nichole Frishette will have her shitty revenge.
SOME PEDO BAR IN BROOKLYN
Motorcycle: "I mean yeah, I guess I called her an airheaded celebutante in a rich-bitch dress, but... Isn't that what these society girls want? Some kinda rough trade throwing fits about cotillion?"
Pedo Bartender: "Was she wearing pearls? Tell me she was wearing pearls. Like a little girl playing dress-up in mommy's pearls. Yeahhhh."
Pedo Bystander: "Hey Motorcycle, isn't that your child bride on TV, having her parentage put on shout? She'll probably be real drunk and vulnerable by now. Wobbling on her heels, throwing around mommy's pearls..."
Motorcycle: (Is just a barstool spinning around and a vrooming sound outside.)