Joanna can't wait to tell Will about sleeping with Julian, so of course he fires her off the case immediately, so of course she continues to work the case the entire episode, reporting her findings back to Will as though she were a part of the investigation, such as -- after talking a psychiatrist into giving her Vivian's taped sessions -- the fact that Vivian believed Haverstock, with whom she never stopped hooking up because that bitch was tragic as hell, was jealous enough to kill her and/or Ben Preswick.
Who did kill Rory and Ben for sure is: Audrey Cruz, who goes out in style this week: She bashes Nichole Frishette's stupid head in, and then while in the middle of cleaning up that failed murder so she can split the country, she's forced to bury a literal knife in Julian's literal back, then when the cops bust in, going for a gun so she can take down Will and Gabe, thereby ridding the show of everybody that sucks within like a 24-hour-period. But, sadly, in the end everybody but Audrey survives her murder spree ... And we learn later that Gabe is on the take from Robert, and "accidentally" shot her at what turned out to be a very convenient time for everybody.
Edward's frog dies so he takes the bloody golf club of his doom to the cops, who arrest him just long to figure out that it contains zero proof of his involvement in Kimberly Yaeger's death, so he does what any normal person would do: Walk that mother back over to the Senator's office, and beat the everloving shit out of him with it. Little does he know that the big bear of a hitman who's been following him everywhere takes this opportunity to put a couple bullets in poor ol' Samantha, who seems very dead indeed.
Our Mia Bowers has fuller days than most, it's true, but this one is a doozy: Dressed like a punk rock fairy from Dorktown, she flits to and fro, yelling at therapists and rolling around in the very bed Vivian fell out of whilst dying. (Oh, what starts it is that Sofia ducks into the men's room during their luncheon for some violent sex-from-behind with Wyatt, and we learn that her teen murder spree had to do with their unborn daughter, whose name was supposed to be Mia. It's like we can only ever hear these tiny little oblique parts of Sofia's backstory at a time, or we would lose our minds.) Anyway, then Mia accepts an invitation to a motel party -- a thing you should never, ever do -- just a few doors down, accidentally snorts a bunch of heroin, and gets very nearly raped, so Joanna rescues her and talks her into donating her marrow after all.
"I'm gonna wait a couple days, though, because I accidentally did heroin today," says our girl, who I think is gonna be okay. She mentions this multiple times because she knows how crazy and funny it sounds, but nobody else on the show has a sense of humor so they just look at her like, "And?" And nothing, stupid, I just snorted a bunch of heroin and I'm a teenage child and that's interesting.
Next Week: What they're quaintly calling a "season" finale will presumably throw all the balls back up in the air one more time but for now it's looking like Vivian's going to be working alone to actually solve Vivian's murder, since they forgot that part when they closed the case of solving Vivian's murder. Oh, and a drunken angry Sofia wrecks shop on Wyatt in a Trader Joe's, which looks fucking phenomenal.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
PREVIOUSLY
Eddie Spaghetti played right into Audrey Cruz's hands, releasing the falsified drug trials on the eve of Lyritrol's release to market in order to complete poor dead Vivian's quest for fake justice. Patriarch Robert Bowers has become convinced that the utterly sketchy Joanna is on the make in some way, although hilariously it's not her disregard for being undercover that did it, but just her incompetence at her fake job as his assistant. Now her mom is back in the house, and nobody knows what she remembers or whether she'll say it at the least convenient time possible. Sofia's old flame Wyatt became a pawn in Senator Haverstock's scheme to relieve Mia of her bone marrow, and Joanna convinced Mia to go through with the donation -- although now that Haverstock's last bit of leverage over the family is gone, there's no reason for him to keep Wyatt in jail. In turn, that bit of evidence was the last straw for poor old Edward, who is swiftly losing it. Oh, and Joanna finally slept with Julian, because Will's awfulness finally crossed the line.
IN THE PAST & ALSO THE PRESENT
Julian & Joanna giggle dorkily about how her mom's just down the hall and surely would she be upset about them doing it, because in fact she is correct -- in the past, but also in the present -- that there are a million power dynamics in place that are so creepy they render "feelings" irrelevant. Meanwhile the music is like, "Isn't this so super romantic? Who wouldn't want an entitled drug addict with daddy issues for their very own?" The second Julian gets in the shower, Horrible Nichole calls.
Joanna: "I promise to God, Nichole, you have five seconds..."
Nichole: "...Before I'm deported, I know, I know. Just listen, Audrey Cruz bought a one-way ticket to Morocco yesterday. Which is important for reasons you already know, but I'm happy to exposit for way longer than five seconds just in case."
At one point they discuss the "coincidence" about how she's been infiltrating Lyritrol since before it was even a gleam in Julian's eye and they literally say, "That can't just be a coincidence." As though pointing to the ridiculous conceits of this show -- especially this one, which is proving to be the backbone -- is a good idea. Like yeah, who would have thought, sleeping with the person whose actual job it is to scare your shareholders, that she might have something to do with scaring your shareholders? "We should have seen this coming. This should have been item one, but we were too busy getting dizzy on Will's merry-go-round of unprofessional bullshit to catch it."
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