You're The Bad Guy

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
Dollar Kid/Topside Kid

Senator: "Aren't you something special."
Edward: "Yeah, I was honestly ready. And of course, it was nothing this whole time..."
Senator: "I know! But that's hilarious, right? Hey, want a drink?"
Edward: "No. I want to beat the shit out of you with it."

So he does. And it's mighty glorious. And he says a thing I didn't even think of, but makes total sense, which is that the golf club is the reason Vivian couldn't ever take Mia back in the first place: So she wouldn't get Teen Mom all over his Senate Ambitions. Which, fast-forward a few years, no wonder she was so caged and crazed that she became this creature everybody feared and desired and almost pitied but didn't. The golf club deformed them both.

And so now, Edward's getting justice for her too, which retroactively -- along with Robert being a dick as usual -- clears his conscience for the mistakes he made the first time, with the drug trial stuff. That he really did love her for real reasons and hated Joanna for kind of valid reasons, and that everything he did -- from Ben Preswick to the press conference to turning himself in -- was, in part, because he is grieving for her, and he's the only one who can pay her this tribute. The first time we ever saw him, he was wrecking shop over her dead body, weeping for just this one person while barking inhumanly at everybody else. Great stuff, man.


Julian: "Man, I make terrible decisions!"
Joanna: "Not gonna lie."
Julian: "I can't believe my other girlfriend killed my sister!"
Joanna: "No comment."
Julian: "How could I let that crazy bitch into my life?"
Joanna: "Nothing to see here."
Julian: "Well, at least I know I can trust my father, Robert Bowers."
Joanna: "Say what?"
Julian: "I was starting to think he was super creepy!"
Joanna: "Hmm."


Bowers: "She's dead?"
Gabe: "Yeah. I would have wanted to kill her too, if she was the person we're all saying killed my daughter. If indeed that's why you paid me to kill her, it's a good reason. Hey, what made you think I'd take that bribe?"
Bowers: "First of all, it's a very moral thing to do, if it was in fact for those reasons. And second of all, you stupid idiot, it's because I would have killed you too."
Gabe: "Oh, cool. Remind me to never, ever see or think about you again."

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