You're The Bad Guy

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
Dollar Kid/Topside Kid

Haverstock: "Why the gloomy snout, Jane?"
Jane: "You need to tell everybody about your cancer. The Chief of Staff of somebody says."
Haverstock: "Why do bad things happen to good people? And also me?"
Jane: "As your lawyer, I really think you need to get your shit together. Like make a will."
Haverstock: "Easy. Everything goes to Mia Bowers. Would have been true regardless, but hopefully this way it'll turn her into a cutter."

Suddenly Sofia: "You motherfucker! You let Wyatt out?"
Hos, Lawyers: "This probably isn't something we should clear out for. Let's watch, still silently undulating, while they talk about totally illegal stuff."
Haverstock: "Yeah, I totally told you I was going to do that?"
Sofia: "PUT! HIM! BACK!"
Haverstock: "I ain't Aladdin, sweet thing. I ain't the Cat in the Hat over here. C'mon."
Sofia: "[Wordless screeches; library globes and tome-lecterns and whatever rich people stuff flying all around the place in her telepathic Carrie White rage.]"
Haverstock: "Boo hoo. Call me when he hate-fucks you in a classy bathroom. Or kills your entire family or whatever."
Sofia, verbatim: "You're the worst man in the world!"
Haverstock: "Right after your husband, bitch."


Robert: "Beverly, I know you're in there! Come with me to lunch or face certain death!"
Beverly: "I was just in here having Alzheimer's. And reading a Terry MacMillan book."
Robert: "Is she good? I've ever heard about her."
Beverly: "She writes about black women from their own experience, rather than through the prism of white privilege. It has the odd effect of making the black female main characters seem like real people, instead of boring cyphers without agency who are consistently shoved aside for the stories of the more compelling white characters."
Robert: "So it's science fiction?"
Beverly: "Good one! I'm just saying, when you get bored with the black characters in an ensemble piece, a lot of times it's not because you're racist -- it's because the show itself doesn't care or doesn't know what to do with them, and hasn't even thought their way around that problem, because they don't have to, because the definition of white privilege is being able to say race doesn't matter."
Robert: "Are you saying only black people can write about black people?"

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