Liam and Malcolm compete with each other, going so far as to literally measure themselves -- in height not in length, although they come close. Mostly they play a lot of basketball and sweat a lot, until Hart uses their competitiveness by assigning them to a pro bono case defending a cargo train conductor accused of using stimulants. They find out that the cargo company was implicitly encouraging their employees to use stimulants by doctoring the drug tests, so that they could work longer hours. Rowdy continues to roam the law firm's halls, handing out relationship advice, like when Liam receives a dirty letter that he mistakenly thinks is from Beth. This leads to Beth fearing she won't measure up to all the many, many women Liam has been with. Thanks to Rowdy's love-doctoring, these two crazy kids make it through another episode. On the legal side of things, Beth works with Dylan to defend a college coed whose tennis scholarship is unceremoniously rescinded with no explanation. The young woman is accused of steroid use, but when they test her blood, they find no evidence of drug use. They do find, though, that she has a Y chromosome, which comes as quite a shock to her. More testing leads to mixed results with some doctors concluding she's female, and some male. Beth and Dylan find a technicality which allows her to keep her scholarship, but when a wealthy sponsor encourages to turn pro, she leaves the college.
Meanwhile, Addy is tasked with interviewing Cliff and others around the firm about his affair with Katie the paralegal in order to cover their asses in case she should decide to sue for sexual harassment. This addles Addy, who decides the way to handle things is to... bake a cake. She runs in a bit of trouble when Cliff's and Dylan's accounts of the affair's end differ. Dylan considers lying in order to spare Susan's feelings, but she tells him she's a big girl. So is Cliff, but not in a good way.
Peppy music plays as Liam walks into his office to find Rowdy lounging at his desk, reading a love note that's been left for our beefcake Aussie lawyer. It's not like Rowdy has anything else to do, right? They chitchat about Beth, who they both think wrote the letter. Rowdy reads aloud: "'I long for the taste of you, your strong hands caressing my...'" Liam snatches the letter away and gets all hot and bothered reading the rest of it. Rowdy encourages him to accept Beth's overtures, by comparing Liam's budding relationship to a flower. Liam very slowly grasps that he must care for this flower-relationship. Rowdy sends him off with a "friendly" slap, then stands around waiting for his next scene. Title card!
Susan hands Beth and Dylan a case. Her friend's goddaughter attends a local university and has been stripped of her tennis scholarship, accused of cheating. The school hasn't elaborated on the details, citing privacy issues. Susan's friend has assured her the girl would never cheat. Beth and Dylan practically wriggle like happy puppies at the prospect of helping Susan. Later, in the copy room, Liam finds Beth and gives her a smooch. Beth laughingly protests, but he whispers something dirty to her. She's aghast. He shows her the letter, which she reads with growing disgust. Liam only finally realizes that she's not the one who wrote the letter when she demands to know who wrote the letter. She's ticked that the guy she's seeing is getting X-rated mail from someone in the office. Beth threatens that if she weren't in the middle of the case... She stands on tiptoe to whisper the end of the line in his ear, which we don't hear, but is, judging by Liam's reaction, a terrifying prospect. She storms out.
Cliff's office. Hart and Cliff confab about Cliff's affair. Hart's annoyed that not only did Cliff expose the firm to potential litigation, but he betrayed Susan. "I'm glad you're so enamored with my wife," Cliff says, "but this is between me and her." Hart disagrees. He wants Cliff to go on record about his affair with Katie the paralegal in case she files a sexual discrimination suit. Cliff thinks Hart is just out to humiliate him, but Hart says he is trying to protect the firm. Humiliating Cliff is just a bonus. On his way out, Hart tells Cliff he just accepted a pro bono case that nobody else wanted. Cliff, as you can imagine, is just thrilled.