Kenya loves it, loves every single bit of it. They're the same. Shiro ksa yu re ya, Seeming Is Being: Stahma's not being creepy, she's being controlled. There are variables here she isn't sure about, so she's got a plan and she's going to stick to it. Both because that's the kind of spider that she is, and because it's a central Casti philosophy: Marusha is not comparable to status or reputation, as we think of them, it's literally your value.
Sociologically speaking, Casti have no division between more and folkway (or guilt and shame, for that matter; this is a transcending approach that combines our Eastern and Western ideas of the personal): The two things are interchangeable in a way Datak will never really understand, because his ego gets in the way, but Stahma was born mediating. (It's also why Elah Bandik had to die: His marusha went down to zero, which made him a non-person and barred him from Heaven, but also threatened society as a whole.)
For a show pretty much entirely about the interdependence of self and community, particularly along the spiritual (transpersonal, in Jungian terms) axis, it's the best thing you can say about the Casti: By locating personal decisions within a social framework -- rather than against it, like we do -- you actually free up a lot more room to express the wholeness of your personality. We should all put more emphasis on marusha than we do, which is one way in turn where Amanda is failing Alak.
Kenya: "We're not, really. Complex."
Stahma: "Uh, the g-spot is one of your major erogenous zones, yet it took your own scientists centuries to confirm it even existed."
It's an interesting gloss on the cultural differences: In 2013 the personhood of women was already leaps and bounds beyond what the Casti brought with them, but on balance the one thing Castithans aren't weird about is sex. So while for us she's unknowingly indicting patriarchal control of female sexuality -- we didn't find the g-spot because we didn't care -- she's also accidentally putting her own culture on shout: Male Casti can afford to be specific about female pleasure, because they put their women in cages and fuck them to impress each other. And of course, her own bewilderment and fascination with (human?) female sexuality would present psychologically as a puzzle to be solved, no matter how futile: All of these are in play, and none of them are really things she's aware of, which is half the reason she's being so particularly Stahma right now.