Desperate Housewives

Revenge is a Dish Best Not Served, Apparently

If It's Only In Your Head - Creepy Dave's plan starts to fall into place, and it's sort of masterful and poetic -- until his last-second change of heart.

What Mystery?

Everybody Says Don't - It's sort of anti-climactic for us, since we've known all season what Creepy Dave was planning, but at least Mrs. McCluskey, her sister, Mike, Jackson, and the detectives finally have all the tools they need to solve MJ's murder preemptively. But will they do it in time?

The Mask

Marry Me A Little - Mary Alice teaches us all about masks this week: how everyone wears them, even if you don't see them. And then Bree steals a real one from herself, and Orson finds her out.

What Can You Do For Me?

Bargaining - Everyone wants something from someone else this week, as Tom wants sex with Lynette every day; Bree wants Karl to help her keep everything in the divorce; Katherine wants Mike to want to marry her; and Jackson wants to marry Susan -- but not for love.

Love and Marriage

Rose's Turn - Everyone in a relationship -- even the seemingly indestructible ones -- has issues this week. But no one's problems are as bad as Susan's, when Creepy Dave realizes he's been targeting the wrong person.

Ashes Make the Heart Grow Fonder

Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know - All of the Housewives take a road trip with Edie's ashes to visit Edie's son, and on the way they use her death as an excuse to reminisce about their fondest memories of her. Hey, kinda like that Beau Bridges episode they just did!

The Most Shocking Episode Ever

A Spark. To Pierce the Dark - You know how they always say that episodes are "shocking"? Well, this one literally is, in that someone actually gets electrocuted.

Lying Liars Who Lie

The Story of Lucy and Jessie - Everyone's telling lies this week -- even more than usual: Mike and Katherine say she has to do her taxes instead of camping. Susan invites her boss over under false pretenses. Orson and Bree cover up his stealing. Lynette negotiates a higher salary by inflating another offer. She also lies about her age, more than once. Gaby gets Lynette a job, but doesn't tell her the real reason. Carlos tells Gaby his new hire is his old roommate, rather than his ex-girlfriend. Edie investigates Creepy Dave, and doesn't tell him, while he continues to lie to everyone about everything.

Manners Are For Poor People. And Non-Felons.

Crime Doesn't Pay - Everyone is committing crimes on Wisteria Lane! Orson is stealing things, Gabby is blackmailing people, Edie is spying on her husband and Lynette is considering becoming the breadwinner of the family. Send that woman to the stocks!

The Haves and Have-Nots

In A World Where The Kings Are Employers - Orson wants to make as much money as Andrew. Gaby wants Carlos to get a bonus -- but it might not be worth the cost. Tom wants his family to help him keep Scavo's in business. Susan wants to have the time and money to stay home with MJ, so he doesn't have to spend time with Katherine, who gives him good food, reads to him, and plays games. Creepy Dave mostly just wants to go camping. Oh, and possibly kill Katherine.

Spoilers and Spoiler Speculation: Why Did She Rip Off Her Wig?

She Ripped Off Her Wig! Nothing but Spoilers

Housewives in the Media: Mother of Four Drowns Kids

Bree Van De Kamp: Stepford Transplant

Ratings and Scheduling: Desperate Networks

Suspicions and Speculation

Desperately Quotable

1-23: "One Wonderful Day" 2005.05.22

Andrew Van De Kamp: Totally Evil!

Gabrielle Solis: Trophy Wife