Desperate Housewives

Signs, Signs...

Don't Walk on the Grass - Everywhere there's signs. Signs that Bree's falling in love with Karl. Signs that Katherine's still crazy. And signs that Angie has even more to hide. Though there's no sign yet what it is.

Deathmatch: Monkey vs. Clown

Everybody Ought to Have a Maid - A monkey and a clown have it out this episode, and one of them ends up injured. I'm talking about Susan and Katherine, of course, although an actual monkey takes down a clown at Juanita's birthday party.

A Family Affair

The God-Why-Don't-You-Love-Me Blues - The Bolens grow more mysterious by the minute, as we find out Angie's scar is from an explosion, that Danny is sort of in love with his mom, and that Nick is Julie's secret boyfriend.

Guilty Until Proven Innocent

Never Judge A Lady By Her Lover - Susan goes insane when Danny's released by the cops and wreaks her own vengeance all over the neighborhood. Then -- oops! -- there's concrete proof that he didn't attack Julie. Will an apology be enough after the hate calls, death threats, and vandalism? Bree's still sleeping with Karl, Lynette's still pregnant, and Gaby's still hung up on Gardener John.

In the Dark

Being Alive - Julie spends the episode in a coma and misses everything except ten seconds of Bree and Karl kissing. Poor thing probably preferred the coma. Meanwhile, there are no advancements in solving our new mystery.

The Re-Marrying Man

Nice is Different Than Good - Katherine is not entirely cool with Mike marrying Susan, but Bree decides that an affair with Karl is perfectly justified. Lynette realizes she doesn't want her impending twins, and yet Gaby commits to becoming wild Ana's guardian. And Drea de Matteo moves in with a shifty husband, a nasty burn on her back, and a possibly murderous son. Welcome to Wisteria -- hope you survive the experience!

Revenge is a Dish Best Not Served, Apparently

If It's Only In Your Head - Creepy Dave's plan starts to fall into place, and it's sort of masterful and poetic -- until his last-second change of heart.

What Mystery?

Everybody Says Don't - It's sort of anti-climactic for us, since we've known all season what Creepy Dave was planning, but at least Mrs. McCluskey, her sister, Mike, Jackson, and the detectives finally have all the tools they need to solve MJ's murder preemptively. But will they do it in time?

The Mask

Marry Me A Little - Mary Alice teaches us all about masks this week: how everyone wears them, even if you don't see them. And then Bree steals a real one from herself, and Orson finds her out.

What Can You Do For Me?

Bargaining - Everyone wants something from someone else this week, as Tom wants sex with Lynette every day; Bree wants Karl to help her keep everything in the divorce; Katherine wants Mike to want to marry her; and Jackson wants to marry Susan -- but not for love.

Spoilers and Spoiler Speculation: Why Did She Rip Off Her Wig?

She Ripped Off Her Wig! Nothing but Spoilers

Housewives in the Media: Mother of Four Drowns Kids

Bree Van De Kamp: Stepford Transplant

Ratings and Scheduling: Desperate Networks

Desperately Quotable

Suspicions and Speculation

1-23: "One Wonderful Day" 2005.05.22

Andrew Van De Kamp: Totally Evil!

Gabrielle Solis: Trophy Wife