Gabrielle thinks this is all fun and games, but then who should drive up but Carlos, with Bob's dick still in him. Lee acts all paranoid because he is on drugs -- gay men love their tina! -- and she tells him get out of there, using the backdoor. "I always do!" he whispers, and leaves. Because -- maybe you don't understand this, because it's quite subtle -- Lee prefers to insert his penis into the rectums of other men, while Bob prefers usually to receive the penises of other men in his own rectum, although occasionally he can himself be "flipped." It's not what turned him gay, but it helps.
And now you know everything there is to know about gay men and what they get up to. And even more hilariously, now you know what these particular fictional characters -- no matter how unlikely it seems, given their personalities to this point -- are apt to get up to with each other. Quite a strike for the revolution, this episode. Why, I feel more accepted and loved already! It really does get better!
Lynette's just finishing up the marketing plan and billing structure when Renee casually asks, "So Lynette, do you like it up the ass?" Just kidding, that would be totally inappropriate and needlessly objectifying. Instead, she stares blankly and disinterestedly at her until Susan comes downstairs hoping desperately to make it to the ball on time so her prince can finally get that shoe back on her nasty foot. Lynette tries to strike up a conversation with Susan, even though it's awkward because she is a servant in the Scavo home now, but Susan just keeps ducking her head and saying "yes mum, no mum" until finally Lynette literally goes, "Did you guys know that the state of Rhode Island can fit into Alaska 424 times? Read that once on a cup. Never forgot it."
Probably the best line in the whole episode. And the thing that fucks me up is, the old gay man who wrote this episode? Totally a favorite of mine. I mean, the bitter Boomer aesthetic always applies and it's always grating, but the jokes are fairly solid usually. It's just when you have an episode that includes making fun of menopause and spousal abuse and gaybashing and perpetuating a really damaging gay-recruiter stereotype? At that point, again: Who is actually being served? And also, just remembered this, but: Wasn't it her prancing around pretending to be the surrogate for their pretend gay baby that ended their marriage in the first place?