Or are you supposed to think, "Man, straight women do that to me all the time! You just have to laugh, I guess. Women are stupid." No. Because women aren't stupid, and the gay man/straight woman alliance is not about becoming less, it's about becoming more. Gay men and straight women are the only people on earth who upset the balance of masculine power -- just by existing -- enough that entire codes of conduct have to be created to shut them up and make them weak, and infantilize them, and turn them into shallow Paris Hilton wannabes so their voices don't matter and their subjective sexuality doesn't frighten the horses. And this generation you're looking at -- the one that is telling this story -- is all about validating those powerless roles for each other. We're all show queens and we're all Gabrielle, and that's exactly where they want us. But really, the world is a lot better than that, and most of us have figured that out. Not this show, though.

Gabby's pissed because Bree's filthy menopause might get on her and make her look old. Renee is pissed because she's a one-dimensional catty bitch that should not be allowed in any of their homes, and because Bree won't listen to her advice about how cougars should pretend that menopause is a lie and is not happening, and that we should always lie to men about everything, so that we can keep a man, because being married is the only thing that matters, and because without the magic of a penis nearby you're just, well, Susan Delfino. Bree's pissed because menopause means she's not a woman anymore, because she can't incubate the sperms of a 37-year-old former castmember of a teen soap. McCluskey is pissed because every single one of them is insulting her to her fucking face.

Renee calls Susan and manages to make it sound like she is inviting her to join their firm, when really she is inviting Susan to be Lynette's nanny. It's a cold day in hell when a miscommunication is the root of Susan's problems, but that's today: This one is legitimately not her fault. You know, considering her art background and the fact that Lynette was a pizza mogul, and that Renee's whole resume is being a ho, it makes sense they'd want at least one person. But then the circumstances of her running right over and accepting the job are such that she can't really back out once they've explained the revolting truth.