"I guess I'll take this job that's beneath me," she stutters. "Motherhood and rearing children are so fucking demeaning. If only I still had my job where I was vacuuming with my funbags out. That's just so much more in line with my station."
Bree goes to see her OB-GYN, but since she's on maternity leave -- "There's some salt in the wound," says the barren withered old donkey that is Bree -- she's got Dr. Warner. Played by Nancy Travis, from So I Married An Axe Murderer and other movies that wouldn't also serve as the title of this show. (Birthday 21 September 1961, making Nancy Travis nearly twelve when Brian Austin Green was born.) Dr. Warner is also going through the Change and, though she is married to a paternalistic Army man played by Bo Duke, is excited to hear about the tadpole of a strange woman she's never met and that they are fucking so often she has to drug him to leave her alone. "Check you out!" wangles Dr. Eyebrows at Bree, and then gives her an exam and they discuss lots of fun ways to lie to younger men and to yourself about how old your vagina is getting.
The other gay one has been doing crystal methamphetamine since last week, so you can't really understand what he's talking about, but he needs to spy on Bob's house from Gabby's house because Bob is having an affair with a hunky Latino. He heard this from one member of their sad gay-ghetto group of friends who heard it from another member of their sad gay-ghetto group of friends and so forth, because that is all gay men do: Gossip about each other and occasionally go into the straight universe for visits to antique dealers and the farmer's market. Gabrielle laughs and explains that no, Bob is just dating her husband, and is thus the luckiest man alive.
But the joke is on her! Because Bob is one of those awful gay men you hear about who gets straight men drunk and then molests them, "flipping" them into being gay just through sexual assault, and that probably this will happen to Carlos, because Bob is the master of turning men homosexual through raping them. The whole time he's doing this gross hand-flipping motion that represents metaphorical flipping but also literal flipping, because -- maybe you don't understand this, because it's quite subtle -- sometimes Bob "flips" the men over onto their stomachs, the better to insert his penis into their rectums. It's a very quick process, but one that instantly turns you gay. So you better watch out!