Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Flipper: Faster Than Lightning & Smoother Than Silk

Probably the best line in the whole episode. And the thing that fucks me up is, the old gay man who wrote this episode? Totally a favorite of mine. I mean, the bitter Boomer aesthetic always applies and it's always grating, but the jokes are fairly solid usually. It's just when you have an episode that includes making fun of menopause and spousal abuse and gaybashing and perpetuating a really damaging gay-recruiter stereotype? At that point, again: Who is actually being served? And also, just remembered this, but: Wasn't it her prancing around pretending to be the surrogate for their pretend gay baby that ended their marriage in the first place?

Anyway, Susan will not be having a glass of wine with these women, these women who have tricked her into servitude. She will be doing laundry, anything to keep busy, while they lounge around pretending to have a company, but she will not have a glass of wine. She is on the clock. Renee tells her to get some more iced tea, which is the proper response if you're going to be so in-my-face about it, but Lynette's like, "That's not her job!" Then Paige starts crying on the baby monitor and Lynette's like, "That's her job!" And since it's her job, Susan sullenly trudges back up the stairs and Lynette feels bad about it, because Susan's entire deal right now is making her feel bad about it. Which is why this idea is super-retarded in the first place, but that doesn't mean I don't love it, because I love it.

Beth's on the horn with her mysterious mother, whose identity has been obvious since the first episode of this season even for somebody who stopped watching this show right around that Xiao-Mei bullshit. Mom pushes her once again to do whatever terrible, sad thing to get to the bottom of Paul Young's situations, so she goes on over to the Young house and asks Derek to bust up her chiffarobe. He says he can't because he's on parole with two strikes, so then she busts up her own chiffarobe. The acting is good, I've always love/hated the actress that plays Beth, but on Wisteria Lane of all places I'm not sure accusing another black man of another sexual assault is really called for. I forgot to mention also in this scene Beth is dressed like a Piccadilly Circus-themed doll you might get from the Salvation Army.

What's going on with Carlos? Oh, nothing, he's just moisturizing his hands for an absurd amount of time while letting his wife know that he's going on a romantic weekend resort getaway with Bob the Flipper. "One week, we hate the gays. The next week, we let 'em watch us shower. Kinda kooky, don't you think?" (This is the point at which I sort of gave in to this story, because what an amazing line. It's pretty much something Gabrielle would actually say.) Gabrielle puts forward her Lee-on-crystal theory that Bob's trip is less about golf than it is about seduction, and Carlos is awesome: "Really? That's great, because I was actually planning on turning gay this weekend."

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Desperate Housewives




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