MAVO continues about how our mothers tell us to beware of mysterious men, and we see all the neighborhood children not taking candy or getting into cars with someone we don't see. But Penny opens her door to Eddie and Lynette lets him right in. He has grocery bags, so tells Lynette he decided to go to the store for her since she was cool enough to take him in. The washing machine buzzes, and Eddie jumps to put the clothes in the dryer, but Lynette says it's Porter's turn. Porter tells her he can't; he's late to go to the mall with his friends. They argue about it, and then Eddie tells Porter not to talk to his mother like that. He ends up muttering, "Bitch," and turning to go meet his friends. Eddie runs after him and pushes him to the ground, yelling, "Don't talk to your mother like that," and starts choking him. Lynette has to pull him off of Porter, and then she sends Porter away. Eddie cries that he's sorry, he just can't watch her be disrespected like that. He goes to do the laundry, and Lynette watches him with concern.
Mike shows up at Carlos's to give him some money. Carlos yells, "For the church raffle! So Sister Mary can finally replace her..." Then shuts the door and says quietly, "Gaby's home." And she's going to buy that these two are working together on a church raffle? Um, okay. Mike thanks Carlos again for saving his ass, and says he's making a lot of cutbacks so he can pay him back quickly. Carlos asks him to make sure Gaby doesn't find out, and Mike's like, duh, then she'd tell Susan. Mike hollers to give his best to "Sister Carrie" as Carlos opens the door to go in. Inside, Gaby's waiting in a sexy nightie. He says, "Woah," since it's the middle of the afternoon. She asks him to come upstairs, but he replies, "No thanks. I can't afford it. Every time you offer me afternoon sex, it is because you want something, and it is not afternoon sex." She shows him a flier for a ski chalet in Aspen she wants. He lies that all their money's tied up in a business deal, but he won't tell her what deal.
When Mike gets home, Susan's lying on a piano. He wonders why it's there, and closes the curtain as he asks how much it cost. She says it was free, since her aunt Regina died. But she wants Gaby to think it cost $30,000, since she's always flaunted how much they spend on everything and now it's Susan's turn. Mike tells Susan not to stoop to Gaby's level; she's better than that. She says she's really not. Agreed. He tells her he's serious; she's not telling Gaby she paid for this piano. She says this is her chance and wonders when she'll ever get so lucky as to have an aunt have a stroke while driving again. Sam and Bree are at the supermarket, which she notes with horror is out of cilantro. Bree wants to go to the kosher aisle to get a few things for the Schwartzman bar mitzvah, but Sam notices a store clerk and tells Bree he needs to get baking soda. It's in the cart, so Bree follows him and catches him arguing with the store clerk. He tells her it was just someone he used to know, and that they'll go to Hudson's Market downtown. Bree tries to protest, but Sam says it's all about cilantro.