Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: A | Grade It Now!
Everybody's Seeing Things

Edie comes out of the house all excited to greet Creepy Dave with the apparently exciting news that Porter was arrested and she just knew he did it. She's seriously, genuinely excited about this, which I find odd. Isn't Lynette supposed to be her friend? I know it's Edie and everything, but still. Creepy Dave says, "Poor Lynette," and even that's not getting Edie, who says, "Poor Lynette my ass! Poor seven people who got burned to death." But then she says she wouldn't want to be in Lynette's shoes right now and can you just imagine what she's going through? Isn't this the same thing as that "Poor Lynette" statement you just "my ass"ed, Edie? Make up your damn mind. As Edie prattles on, Creepy Dave sees a brunette woman holding a blonde little girl on the edge of their lawn. They stand there staring at Creepy Dave, who clenches his fist on the light bulb he was holding. It shatters, and he obviously cuts himself. Edie's like, "What the hell?" and takes him inside to clean up the blood.

Lynette's pulling the gun out of her flour jar and cleaning it so she can sneak the gun back into Edie's. Tom isn't sure that's the right thing to do, but she tells him if the gun's reported missing, the cops don't have to be geniuses to start looking at the Scavos. Tom tells Lynette she's his rock, because she always knows what to do in a crisis. She asks him to leave her alone while she cleans fingerprints off a weapon.

Mike's bringing MJ back already as Katherine is walking home picking stuff out of her hair. Susan wonders why they're home so early and Mike says MJ threw his sundae at Katherine, getting nuts and chocolate in her hair. Mike tells Susan that it happened right after he told Katherine she could be on the cover of Sports Illustrated, and Susan agrees that's ridiculous because Katherine could maybe be on the cover of "Menopause Monthly." Yeah, Susan. Petty much? And anyway, MJ should have probably thrown the sundae at Mike for the stupid line anyway, not Katherine.

At a "Congratulations for not being blind" party at the Solis house, Carlos is telling Bree and Susan about how he will be able to see fully again soon, and Gaby's been so patient. Just then she walks up and asks if he's a moron for not wearing his dark glasses. She can only handle him going blind once. He grabs his glasses and a baseball falls. Carlos asks her to look at the signature from Lou Gehrig. There's no signature, but Susan pretends for Gaby's sake that it's signed. He tells them it was passed down from his father and grandfather. Gaby says she didn't know that and he tells her that's why he wouldn't let her sell it. Then she tells him he needs to put in eye drops and he leaves. Bree and Susan look at Gaby like she's been bad. Bree points out you never sell a man's autographed baseball (or any autograph sports ball, actually), but Gaby says the car needed tires. I'm no sports authority, but I would think a baseball signed by Gehrig could pay for a lot more than car tires. Gaby asks Susan if Mike can maybe track down this Lou Gehrig guy and get him to sign a new one. Wow. It's a good thing she's pretty.

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Desperate Housewives




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