Susan and Ian are up at his cabin, and by "cabin," I mean a gorgeous and huge rustic mansion with Craftsman stained glass and cute vintage fixtures. And a lamp made of deer antlers. Susan comments on the gorgeous view. Ian, looking at Susan's ass, agrees. Ian is maybe creepy? Next, the two of them embark upon a long, uncomfortable exchange about where, exactly, she should commence her unpacking, as in: will they be sleeping in the same room, or separately? Finally, it's agreed that Susan will be in the guest bedroom, and she grabs her bag and heads off. Only, cringe, it turns out that Susan's accidentally grabbed Ian's bag, and sitting right on top of the bag is a long strip of condoms. If it were me, I'd have tucked that particular round of ammo into one of the suitcase's many, many pockets versus just letting it float around with all the clothes in the main compartment, but okay. Meanwhile, Ian opens up Susan's suitcase and unfurls a very sexy nightie. So much for her promise to Coma Mike that this thing with Ian is "just dinner." Susan bursts into Ian's room and, with much blushing, they exchange bags. Ian: "Well, I'm just going to, uhhh--" Susan, finishing his sentence: "Hide pathetically in your room? Me too."
Lynette, in a cab, pulls up in front of her house. Snora and her heaving, wildly exposed breasts are sitting on the stoop. (Cute dress, though: baby blue t-shirt material with an unusual blue and green tie-dye circle in front, which has been gathered with an outline of stitching. She also has a matching blue flower tucked behind her ear.) Turns out daughter Kayla called and told Snora about Tom's back, but since Snora's "car's been impounded again," she thought she'd catch a ride with Lynette. Lynette is not pleased about the idea of "eight hours" in a car with Snora. Eight hours? Tom took five kids to a camping spot eight hours away? Surely, what with all those nearby lakes, he could have selected a camping spot closer than that? Snora bullies her way into the car, declaring that she isn't going to let Lynette do her saint act, charging in to the rescue and letting everyone think of Snora as the "rotten mother" who stayed at home "eating bonbons."
With Lynette gone, Gabby is eating dinner alone back at their getaway spa hotel. She is surrounded by happy couples; they're drinking wine, they're kissing each other's shoulders, they're exchanging corsages. (Huh? Corsages? What is this, prom?) MAVO tells us that being surrounded by so many happy couples has prompted Gabby to think depressing thoughts about her divorce. Later, walking down the twinkle-lit path back to her room, Gabby passes a happy older couple and even a couple of bunnies. Gabby: "What is this, frickin' Noah's Ark?" So she's well steeped in loneliness when out of nowhere pops...John the Gardener.