Desperate Housewives
Ah, But Underneath

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Ah, But Underneath

Credits. They sure are purty. But I've been on this job for four years. After a certain point, you realize that you don't absolutely need to recap the credits.

Wisteria Lane. Night. The ladies are gathered in someone's kitchen. I think it's Susan's, but it's hard to say. MAVO reminds us that the peaceful blah blah of Wisteria Lane had blah blah blah because she killed herself. And also, you know, don't forget about The Note. The Note is very important. Note The Note. Everyone stares at The Note, which MAVO notes "suggested a suspicious reason for my desperate act." I'd suggest that we drink every time the word "desperate" is used, except I don't want to get alcohol poisoning. Again. KimberBree -- and yes, I know her name is Bree, but you saw Melrose Place, didn't you? To me, she is now and will always be Dr. Kimberly Shaw, ripper-off of wigs, blackmailer, baby-stealer, husband stealer, have-er of multiple identities, apartment blower-upper, kidnapper, career-ruiner, and my idol. Well, except maybe for Ms. Heather Locklear. Anyway, there's much pacing around the kitchen and looking at The Note. Susan thinks they ought to give it to Paul, Mr. Mary Alice. Gabrielle shakes her head. "He would freak out," she says. Susan points out that Paul "deserves to know." KimberBree wonders if they could tell him gently, "over coffee and pastries." Lynette, naturally, mocks this suggestion. Lynette, listen. You should probably be careful around KimberBree. For one thing, she's got a lot of dirt on your husband. Like how he's gay. Also, you shouldn't be wearing a choker. It makes your neck look short. And also, it's not 1996. Gabrielle wonders if they should alert the authorities. Lynette shrugs that maybe it's just "some sort of sick joke." KimberBree sniffs that if it was a joke, it was "in very poor taste." Susan shakes her head. She's sure the note is for real. And they better find out what's going on. Lynette points out that they might not be happy with what they learn. "Isn't it worse to be in the dark?" Susan wonders. I have to say, Teri Hatcher is very sympathetic in this role. I expected to hate her, but she's rather charming. "It's the age-old question, isn't it?" KimberBree says. "How much do we really want to know about our neighbors? For example, did I ever mention that time Lynette's husband ripped off my wig in the hallway of Wilshire General Hospital, and I made it my life's goal to destroy him? I'm almost done with that. I mean -- never mind." Everyone looks thoughtful.

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Desperate Housewives

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