Lovely B&B Couple: "You know what, we've had it. You two are the grossest things we've ever seen in life, and we know you're just using us to prolong the magic before the inevitable murder-suicide. Well, listen to this. We don't care if you kill each other. In fact, if we were a part of it they would probably make a statue in our honor just for saving the idea of marriage from extinction. Whatever sick bullshit you guys are into, leave us out of it. We've done our civic duty, and it's managed to make us question our own relationship. We're getting out while we still believe in love."

LATER; AND BTW SO WELL-ACTED THAT IT MAKES YOUR TUMMY HURT

Tom: "I can't believe you chased off that nice couple."
Lynette: "I can't believe you don't want to fuck me right now."
Tom: "Are you saying you want to..."
Lynette: "No, I want you to want to so I can shut you down. I want things back the way they were."
Tom: "I long for death."

Lynette: "You're not even trying! I'm trying to meet you zero percent of the way."
Tom, producing the most grotesquely huge diamond you've ever seen: "How about this vulgar demonstration of wealth that means nothing?"
Lynette: "You had my engagement ring reset, just like you promised back when we were in love and you were fucking Renee?"
Tom: "Because that's how gross people express their feelings, I bought you this. Please don't be ungrateful or crude about it..."
Lynette: "-- I liked it better before."
Tom: "FFFFFFFUUUUUUUU..."

TILLMAN'S HOUSE OF HORRORS

Felicia: "Beth's urn is going to watch while I hook you up to this IV of antifreeze, okay?"
Paul: "This is some elaborate shit you've got going on."
Felicia, verbatim, pulling out a horse-sized syringe: "If you start screaming for help, I will have no choice but to plunge this directly into your heart, killing you instantly."

FELICIA TILLMAN IS PRETTY AWESOME, HONESTLY

Susan: "Packing up our meager poor-people belongings makes me feel misty."
Mike: "But living in this apartment complex exposed us to riffraff like foreigners and gender dysphorics and other kinds of poor people."
Susan: "True that. I'm going to take a box of MJ's toys over to our old/new house where at least two other people -- three if you count the ashes of a corpse -- may still be living. I won't knock or anything, just let myself in."
Mike: "I hope you don't walk into a murder scene!"
Susan: "Yeah, I'm pretty clumsy."
Mike: "Kinda counting on it."