Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | 939 USERS: C+
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Anything You Can Do

Across town, Pachyderm, Pimento, and Primrose jump in a trampoline. Lynnette tells the New Housewife We've Never Seen Before that she knew this play date was a good idea. "Thank you for suggesting it. Your boys are the only ones I know who could tire out Timmy," Random Woman says. Lynette weaves around to what she really cares about: word on the street is that Random has been medicating Little Timmy. "The pills have been a godsend," Random says. "I bet," Lynette says dryly. Then she excuses herself, goes into Random's bathroom, and steals a whole bunch of them. Not one or two or three. Like, a big huge handful. Lynette, you idiot, you are so going to get caught. If you have to steal, clearly steal one or two pills from multiple people, not twenty from one person! GOD. I have to tell you people everything.

Car of Shaft. He compares the Note to the stationery Paul's brought him. "Well, looks like you've got your blackmailer," Shaft announces. Excuse me? On what evidence? That piece of paper? Doesn't any one else watch Court TV? "Time to bring in the police?" Shaft wonders. Creepy Paul says that's "not an option" for him And he doesn't have a lot of time. Shaft announces that he can totally mess Edie up for five grand and kill her for ten. Dude, that is SO reasonable!

My notes here read: "All of yher kifd dyugg iod on yhr lsen ehrn hre get back." That is too much for me to decipher, and I wrote the thing. I think it means "All of Andrew and Danielle's stuff is on the lawn when they get back home." The kids hop out of the Guiltmobile and ask their mother what's going on. "Oh, I'm throwing you out," KimberBree explains cheerfully. "I've separated your things into two sides. This side is yours, Danielle, and the other one is Andrew's." Andrew snorts that KimberBree's lost her mind, but Danielle wants to know where they're supposed to live. "Darned if I know," KimberBree chirps. "Danielle, everything in the north quadrant of your side is clothes and books and such, and the south side is miscellaneous items." Andrew just brats that he's not giving up his car. "That's a smart idea," says KimberBree, "because you're probably going to have to sleep in it for a while." She tosses him his basketball. She then introduces them to the locksmith, who has changed all the locks on the house. They can get the new keys to the house if and only if they're willing to adhere to KimberBree's rules. And that includes giving back Rex's gifts. Danielle gives in, but Andrew storms off.

Desperate Housewives

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