Meanwhile, Shaft enters the bar and heads over to Edie. "Good evening," he says. She invites him to take a seat.
Casa Unfaithful. Miguel and Gabrielle have apparently literally just finished with the sex, despite the fact that Gabrielle is still in her panties, bra, and robe. I'm not a pro or anything, but I think they might be doing it wrong. Miguel sighs that he could get used to this "whole closure thing," and they start going at it again
Outside, Mama Solis pulls up in a cab and tells the driver to wait around the corner. She sneaks into the house and, of course, catches them in flagrante and snaps a photo. Miguel leaps up and chases after her, but Gabrielle calmly accepts her fate. "Well, that's it, then," she says, taking a huge Louis Vuitton bag out of her closet and throwing things into it like a robot.
Miguel chases Mama Solis down the stairs, spewing brilliant lines like, "I'm not kidding, old woman." They tussle, but Mama Solis has clearly taken self-defense at the senior center and she gets the best of the boy. She runs out of the house and into the street...where Andrew Van de Kamp promptly mows her down and flees the scene of the crime.
Gabrielle hears the crash and comes racing out of the house. She tells Miguel to go home immediately: "I'll take care of this. You were never here." So many of these people's plots rely completely on the assumption that none of their neighbors ever look out the window when they hear a ruckus, which I think is a misstep. Personally, I am spying on my neighbors all the time. Just as Miguel goes, the taxi driver comes around the corner. Gabrielle tells him to call 911. She kneels by her nemesis and thinks and thinks and finally takes the camera and hides it in her pocket.
Andrew pulls into the driveway. His car is not that fucked up, but, dude, is he freaked out.
The street. The EMTs swarm over Mama Solis, who, MAVO tells us "teetered dangerously close to the white light."
Meanwhile, at Casa Addiction, Lynette and Gay Matt are fighting about how she upstaged him at dinner. She was just participating in the conversation, she says. He says she made his ideas look bad. "Maybe you need better ideas," she says, and then apologizes. "No, no, we all know that your career was going so much better than mine before we had kids," says Gay Matt as he cleans up the kitchen. "You never let me forget that." He tells Lynette that she has never stopped competing with him. She apologizes again and explains that she's actually competing with the KimberBrees of the world, "with their spotless kitchens and their perfect kids and their fabulous parties where nothing ever goes wrong." Except that one time, where she told all of you that Rex cries when he ejaculates and he stormed out? Maybe I'm crazy, but that seemed pretty bad to me. Anyway, Lynette can't keep up! Gay Matt doesn't expect her to! Lynette says she can't win where she is! It is starting to get to her! Matt then yells that he thought she threw an AMAZING dinner party and that he was THRILLED and that he has no idea how she pulled it all together: "And whether you believe it or not, everyone who knows you thinks that you are a great wife and mother. Especially me." Aw, Gay Matt! Lynette softens and thanks him. "What's wrong with your eyes?" he asks abruptly. She stammers that she's just tired, but he wants to look. She snaps that she's fine, and is saved when the ambulances come tearing down the street for Mama Solis. She suggests that they go see what happened.