Desperate Housewives
Anything You Can Do

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Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now!
Anything You Can Do

Saddle Ranch. Susan comes back from the bathroom. Edie is riding the bull. She takes off her cowboy hat and tosses it at Susan's feet. When Susan stands back up, Mike is standing over her. Susan sputters something to the effect that it's a very small world. "I caught Edie hiding in the back," he says. "No kidding. Is she here?" Susan twitters. Mike gives her a dirty look in a great shot -- Edie, on the bull, is framed between the two of them in the foreground. "She said, 'The jig is up,' and then she went to ride the bull. And she said the two of you came together." Susan: hem haw hem haw hem. Mike asks her if she's been following him. Susan merely giggles that she just came here with Edie, when of course her reaction should have been an offended and deeply aggrieved "how dare you insinuate that I am following you? Why don't you get over yourself!" Susan tells him that she just loves to ride the bull. "Come on, Susan, give me a break," Mike says. Finally, Susan tells Mike that she didn't follow him, and that if she did, it was just because he's been so "secretive about Kendra." Well, he hasn't been that secretive. And, also, it's not really any of Susan's business. I mean, he hasn't even touched her boob yet. Susan repeats that she came to ride the bull, and one of the employees hears this, and of course Susan heads over there to ride the bull, and naturally the bull knocks her out before she even gets on it because Susan can't walk upright without falling into a river or into a brick wall or over a footstool. Oh, Susan.

Oh my God, an Alias promo! I am way more excited about that than I thought I would be. I wish Irina Derevko would move to Wisteria Lane. That, my friends, would really stir shit up.

Motel Burrito. Andrew announces that he wants to live with Rex. Rex says no. He's got some "stuff to work out." Andrew yelps that he is not going back to KimberBree, but Rex tells him that he is, in fact. Andrew storms out. Can no one leave a room normally here?

Andrew then gets behind the wheel of his shiny new car and calls a friend to see if he still has those fake IDs. "I've got to go home and kiss my mother's ass and I am NOT going to do it sober," he yelps. Hey, that's my motto for this Thanksgiving!

Casa Addiction. Lynette arranges tarts while Gay Matt goes into his spiel for the boss man and his wife. See, Gay Matt wants to advertise "Spotless Scrub" someplace women spend the majority of their time. On the side of their shopping carts at the supermarket! Lynette, all strung out and also creatively frustrated, pipes up that she's got an even better idea. The side of dry cleaner bags! "Put a big Spotless Scrub ad between a woman and her cashmere sweater and I guarantee you've got her attention," she explains. Well, sure, unless she's distracted by the realization that she just dry cleaned her cashmere sweater instead of hand washing it, like you're supposed to. Mrs. Boss thinks this is a great idea: "I would notice that. And those dry cleaning bags hang in our closet forever. So it is like constant advertising." Except you're not supposed to leave your clothes in the plastic dry cleaner bags because it's really bad for the fabric. DO NONE OF YOU HOUSEWIVES READ WOMEN'S MAGAZINES? Anyway, the Boss Man thinks this is just a fantastic idea! And then Lynette just sits on the coffee table and chats and chats and chats and chats.

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Desperate Housewives




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