Anyway, Susan knocks on Mike's door and he opens it and she adjusts her pleather, and he tells her that he's real sorry, but he has to cancel. He has an unexpected houseguest. Who, right on cue, trips out and introduces herself to Susan as "Kendra." I automatically finish with, "the vampeeeer slayer," in a really bad Is It Irish Or Is She Jamaican?-type accent. Poor Susan looks gobsmacked, per usual. Mike stutters that he knows this looks bad, but that Kendra is just "an old friend." Susan makes all these sad and irritated noises and asks him to explain. Kendra excuses herself to go upstairs to take a shower, and Mike promises to make it up to Susan. "You look amazing," he says as a goodbye, and goes up to find Kendra The Vampire Slayer some towels. Oh, SUSAN. Two things: first of all, you kissed him ONCE. He doesn't really owe you fidelity and explanations yet. Two: he's clearly a fuckwit and he's never going to be around when you really need him to be. Look at your past history with him already! Is he the only man in town? Because I think you deserve someone who puts more effort into being with you rather than a charmer who will act all into you when it's convenient for him but blow you off when it's not, because he KNOWS you will put up with it because you like him so much. I know how disappointing this is, but you need to get some self-respect and stop acting like he's the only viable option in your life because you deserve better. This public service announcement was brought to you by My Own Tragic Real-Life Mistakes.
Susan walks back to her own house with her handbag in front of her face. Heh. Poor stupid Susan. "Hey!" Edie calls. "How was your big date?" Susan explains that Mike had to reschedule. "Oh. Because of the hot girl? With the suitcase? Over there? Gosh, how devastating for you. FYI," Edie chirps. And I never thought I'd say this about Nicolette Sheridan, but: heh. Susan makes her usual sad and put-upon face as she slinks across the street, and we smash into commercial.
When we come back from the ads, Creepy Paul is telling Edie that he wants to sell the house fast, and that he'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. She nods and reapplies her lipstick and tells him that they're going to run into problems with the whole Woman Committed Suicide in the Living Room thing: "Legal crap. And people get really freaked out by suicides. You can't blame them. Hell, I get the willies just standing here." Creepy Paul if there's any way around that. "Off the record? You could say that she shot herself in the living room and then crawled out back to die," Edie chirps. Creepy Paul takes a swig of his scotch, looking like this is not the most awful suggestion he's ever heard. "I'm just saying," Edie points out. She has to go, she says, and takes off without her notebook. Creepy Paul calls after her, then notices some purple stationery poking out of it. He compares it to The Note and makes a thoughtful face. Yes. Because (a) I'm sure that when her house burned to the ground, the one thing she saved was her precious stationery and (b) that stationery is sold all over town! Maybe Mary Alice killed herself because you are SO DUMB, Paul.