Desperate Housewives
Anything You Can Do

Episode Report Card
Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now!
Anything You Can Do

Gabrielle is out jogging. She runs into Danielle -- see what I did there? -- and asks if Danielle is still interested in being a model. Because "Project Modeling Academy" has an opening for their summer program and Gabrielle would totally be willing to sponsor her! Danielle squeals that Project Modeling Academy is one of the best schools in the country! Better than Barbizon? NO WAY. Danielle is totally grateful: "I would so love to go to New York!" Gabrielle smiles. "And I would so love to help you get there," she says, and jogs off. Gabrielle is an asshole. But Eva Longoria is great in this role.

While Gabrielle is plotting to dispatch her youthful rival, Lynette is at the park trying to score a hit. She sits next to SuperMom Jordana, who is knitting and whose legs won't stop fidgeting, which is a very amusing detail on the part of the actress, who actually, on the whole, knocks this scene out of the park. Lynette explains that she', well, out of stuff. You know. The good stuff. Jordana explains that, unfortunately, she's running low herself. And she needs all her energy. Her sister-in-law and all her kids are going to be in town for a week. Lynette wishes her own sister would visit more often. "Sisters are great," Jordana says robotically. Lynette asks for just three or four more pills, pleading, "I'm really hitting a wall here." "Yeah, the comedown can be a real bitch," Jordana tells her. "I wish I could help." Jordana is kind of awesome. I wish she were on this show more often. Lynette looks, per usual, put-upon and makeupless. "I'm not about to forget about this, Jordana," she finally snarls. "What's that supposed to mean?" Jordana asks. It means that Lynette is not planning on shelling out for any of Jordana's daughters' Girl Scout cookies this year. Now, Lynette, that is just short-sighted. What Ritalin can't help, Samoas CAN. Jordana blinks as Lynette just storms off.

Casa Tearful Ejaculators. KimberBree and Rex tell Danielle -- who is combing her hair the entire time, which is very funny -- and smarmy Andrew that they're breaking it off. Calling it quits. Getting the big D. KimberBree assures the kids that she and Rex don't love them any less. Andrew has one question: "Can I live with Dad?" KimberBree looks very hurt, as Andrew smarms that she knows she and Andrew drive each other crazy. KimberBree quietly asks Danielle what she wants. Danielle just wants her own bathroom. Andrew gives KimberBree this horrible cocky little smile. There's something about him that has a George W. Bush-quality to me, and I'm not sure entirely what it is, but I think it's his tendency to look a wee bit overly pleased with himself. KimberBree just sadly announces that she has a headache and excuses herself. Rex looks like he's trying really hard not to smile. Suck it, Rex.

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Desperate Housewives




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